Brick Mansions

In a world, covered in cheese, apparently everyone in Detroit, Circa 2018, is an American Ninja Warrior, including the late Paul Walker!  How fast does ones heart race while full speed running, jumping, climbing, rolling, fighting, and basically flying for 40 minutes straight?  I would guess it is right at the category of exploding!  Another Netflix throw away that surely would have gone straight to video if Walker hadn't died.  This re make was about as generic as it gets, with some extremely stupid characters, lines, and villains.  Paul Walker plays yet again, another undercover cop who has to infiltrate a walled off area full of crime in Detroit.  This area known as "Brick Mansions" is run by an overlord played by RZA.  You know, the Wu Tang Clan rapper, turned "actor".  Here is the kicker, the criminals have a bomb that is accidentally armed and will most likely blow up this 6 block area.  Walker teams up with Belle, a french ex criminal, ex military, and all around master of every martial art known to man.  As far as I am concerned he was the only cool part of this movie.  To top it all off, the last 20 minutes of the film was so ridiculously stupid, I almost gave up on it.  This is another future TBS Saturday afternoon snoozer you will see often.  Good hangover movie that wont make your brain work for a single second.  Now stay out of the Ghetto!

FYI:  Make a drinking game out of how many mistakes are made in this movie such as girl shifts car into drive, and it goes in reverse, etc.

*1/2

Extraterrestrial

Those pesky aliens are at it again!  Not your typical, wait, these are your typical aggressive aliens just popping down to earth collecting species to experiment on.  Humans being a prime target, as always.  Never have I seen a movie with so much potential, and effects, with a cool concept be such a DUD!  The not so original story here is our government has had a secret agreement with aliens for years.  They can come and experiment once in a while and leave with no more harm done as long as humans don't engage.  Well, a group of pot head college kids engage!  Then guess what happens, all hell brakes loose!  This is kind of a "Fire in the Sky" meets "Cabin in the Woods" movie with decent acting and a few good twists that keep you watching just as boredom begins to set in.  The end gets a little cheesy (smoking man), and the crazy pot grower in the woods is laughable (Michael Ironside).  Not to give the best part away, but this movie bring the classic Alien Probe to a whole new level.  If this was directed by J.J. Abrams, it would have been a blockbuster for sure!  I would give it a shot if you have some time to spend on an alien movie, but there are far better out there (check some of my past reviews).  Just keep in mind, if you happen to encounter an alien spaceship, its probably a good idea to leave as soon as possible.  Just sayin.

FYI:  Melanie Papalia is going for the title of B rated scream queen, she is literally in every cheesy movie made in the last 5 years.  Someone needs a new agent!

**1/2

Blackhat

Want to feel really stupid?  Seriously, want to watch a series of computer hackers doing their thing and listen to their tech-y nerd lingo?  Then feel like you know nothing and are even stupider than you are?  Well do I have the movie for you, Blackhat!  My first thought after 20 minutes into this was, "is this all a bunch of made up jargon with unbelievable and completely unrealistic tactics, or am I just that dumb"?  Take Thor, er, I mean Hemsworth and give him a Stephen Hawking brain.  Then throw in a hot Asian chick and her FBI type brother.  Lastly, toss in millions of stolen dollars and BAM!  You have yourself a blockbuster.  Expert hacker is taken out of prison to help track down a truck load of money stolen from stock markets around the world by other hackers.  I actually liked this flick, could have done without the cheesy love interest of Hemsworth, completely unnecessary.  Extremely unbelievable, but so complex for the average citizen, you cant help but to just sit back, pretend you understand what they are talking about and enjoy the ride.  Good action, cool setting and Thor is pretty good in most of his stuff.  Give it a shot, or just wait for it to become another played out TBS movie, trust me, it will.

FYI:  Michael Mann donated $40,000 to the community chest of Hong Kong to thank them for his use of the Lobby of the bank in this film for 5 days! 

***

The Bunny Game

Well, there are two types of people in this world; Wolves and Bunnies.  Do I have to ask which would win face to face in the wild?  Good.  There are also two different types of movies in this world; sick, twisted, sadistic, nearly un-watchable and simply watchable.   As you can tell by the cover art, this particular movie is a perfect fit for family movie night with the kids.  But then again, maybe not because that would be in the "Watchable" category.  This wasn't exactly the most disturbing thing on the market, but the repetitive, artsy tone with little dialogue (other than crazy coked out hooker screams and crazy coked out trucker mumble), makes it an almost grueling experience.  Ready for the plot?  Damaged, drug addict, hooker looking for her next paycheck gets into the wrong truck.  Psychotic, drug addict, truck driver captures her and tortures her for his summer vacation.  The end.  Not highly recommended and would most likely pass on this.

FYI:  Still banned in the UK

1/2

Before I Go To Sleep

Don't you hate it when you wake up in the morning and cant remember the night before?  For most of us, its due to hitting the bottle a little to hard prior to passing out.  Well in Nicole Kidmans case, its due to a car accident years before where she basically turns into the guy from Memento.  She can only remember that day she is in.  Well this dark rendition of Groundhog day will take you into her world of waking up next to a stranger every morning, who then has to explain to her that he is her husband.  Sensing something is wrong, she begins to trust her therapist who convinces her to video a journal everyday so that she will remember.  It quickly turns into a dark thriller with something sinister at bay.  Who can you trust?  Who are these people really?  WTF is going on???  It all comes out in the end, and makes for a pretty good suspense film.  Not a lot of new tricks in this one, but definitely worth a shot.

FYI:  Kidman convinced Firth to hit her extra hard in the fight scene so she would have actual blood.

***

Joe

AHHHH, good ole southern country livin!  These back woods royalties have it made!  C'mon, who doesn't want to live in an abandoned trailer with an alcoholic, abusive father, no food, and a 9 year old sister who is so traumatized by life she wont even talk.  Boo Hoo, you didn't get the new X-Box game you were pissing about?  Try having your drunk ass dad beat the shit out of you, steal your money, and pimp your little sister.  Well if you havent realized that this is the feel good movie of the year, keep on reading!  Enter Nic Cage.  The man has had some flops, and by some I mean a TON!  Well he redeemed himself in this little diddy, and crushed his role as an ex-con lumber jack who takes a troubled boy under his wing and tries to do good with him.  Its not your typical wise old woodsman teaching a kid about life, but has some of those elements in it as well.  Throw in hookers, dog fights, police brutality, child abuse, southern black slang, and booze.  Now yer talkin!  This movie was a much underrated hidden Netflix gem that had me sucked in from the first few minutes.  The is a definite watch and will help you forget all about most of Cages other films.

FYI:  The abusive father in this film was played by Gary Poulter, a real life homeless man who was given the part by the director and ended up dying on the streets 2 months after filming was completed.

****

Going Clear: Scientology and the Prison of Belief

WOW!  Have you ever thought a "Religion" was total bullshit?  How about one that makes you sign a Billion year contract?  Yes, that was Billion, with a B!  No?  Well be prepared to perish in the depths of an inner hell-like universe where your total existence is demolished.  I will try and de-construct this for you.  75 million years ago Xenu, a Galactic Overlord imprisoned millions of bad souls in a world similar to Earth in the 1950's.  He then shipped them in pods to Earth and dumped them into our volcano's where they would later attach themselves to human babies being born.  With Scientology, you go through a lengthy process of being audited using an E-Meter which is basically two coffee cans with a wire attached to them, in order to become "Clear" and rid yourselves of the Evil Souls attached to you.  All of this created by the Cult Leader L. Ron Hubbard, you know the Science Fiction writer in the Guinness Book for writing over 1000 publications.  He was also an all around asshole, terrible father, and biggest scam artist known to man.  Whew!  Got all of that?  Now take intelligent members of our society (Tom Cruse, Travolta, Issac Hayes, etc) and see how they seriously bought into this shit!  This was an amazing documentary that really showed how stupid people really are, especially seeing how much time and money they all contribute to this cult.  Give this movie a watch, it will blow your mind!  All Praise Hubbard!!!

FYI:  Don't mess with these bruisers, they give the Mafia a run for their money!  

****

The Wedding Ringer

Looking for a summer want to be blockbuster recipe?  Take an older love story staring Will Smith (Hitch), a Paul Rudd love story (I Love You Man), mix it with a Wedding Theme (Wedding Crashers), then throw in Kevin Hart and BAM!  You have yourself a winner!  I cant get enough of Kevin Hart these days, he is one of the funniest comedians today.  The movie is played out and nothing new, it is basically a throw away and one that you will definitely see on basic cable 4 times each weekend, but enjoyable.  Josh Gad is a pretty funny dude and apparently can dance his ass off.  Story:  Dumpy, awkward dude is getting married to a girl way out of his league.  They are putting together the wedding party and he realizes he has no friends.  Scared he will loose his girl, he hires Best Man Inc. to help him put together a wedding party, and the Golden Tuxedo, a never before done scam.  Not really a chick flick, and not quite a buddy flick, it is really just a paycheck for the actors.  The characters in the wedding party were pretty good and I laughed at it with low expectations.  Give it a shot, most people will enjoy this non thinker.

FYI:  This movie was originally set to star Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson, WTF?!?

***

Nurse 3-D

Lionsgate pictures presents the heartwarming story of a young woman in the medical field going out of her way to mentor and teach the ropes to new graduate nurses.  This intensive care unit fosters some of the most delicate cases in medical history, but thanks to the critical thinking of these highly professional registered caregivers we can sleep easy knowing our loved ones are in good hands!  Now that you have heard a lot of bullshit, here is what you really need to know about this movie.  Gratuitous nudity, hot skimpy nurse outfits straight out of the naughty Halloween catalog,  outlandish blood splatters (in 3-D), and then Judd Nelson and Kathleen Turner show up!!!  This just went from B rated to AAA rated in my book!  Then when you don't think it can get any better, the star new nurse shows up and it is no other than, drum roll please, Katrina Bowden!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  So the cast is either "has been" or "never will be", the story is really dumb, and the lead nurse character is trying really hard to be a young Melanie Griffith and is one serious butter face.  There is no point in watching this movie what-so-ever, but I loved it!  Typical cheap, 1/2 star Netflix, horror film that was obviously made for men.  Thank you to my wife (a nurse) who I made sit through this with me. :)

FYI:  I work with a guy who's brother helped start Lionsgate Films, true story.

*1/2

Inherent Vice

Here you have it!  Another Hipster, pretentious movie that insists upon itself over and over again!  I can hear it now, the so called intellectuals who hear anyone not liking the film come running for miles to tell you why you’re wrong!  With Inherent Vice, you will find a film that tried entirely too hard to be the next generations Big Lebowski, failing miserably of course!  Here is the breakdown which makes it even more disappointing.  Crime, Drama, and Comedy is what the categories are affiliated with this thing.  Let’s start with crime; apparently through the first 2 hours of the movie we don’t know if there even is a crime.  Second, drama; more of a drama but then you can’t take it seriously due to the campy, indie sarcasm.  Third; comedy, I think I laughed twice but that might have been due to boredom.  There were some good elements such as the cast, outstanding.  Acting, pretty good especially since Josh Brolin stole the show.  Phoenix plays a good lazy, looser, hippie and finally made it on my list of a whopping two movies he is any good in.  Over dialogue, too many directions with stupid coincidences and honestly it just didn’t tie together to make any sense.  My take is that Phoenix and Brolin played opposite characters in the film that were connected in an alter ego sort of way.  That right there tells you that this movie thought way too much of itself.  Rob Ivins said he thought this was a big turd, and I would 90% agree.  Give it a watch is you have 2 1/2 hours to spare, just don’t have expectations too high.

FYI:  This movie would have been awesome if the Coen brothers would have done it!

**1/2

Good Kill

Have you watched a War movie since American Sniper?  If so it is really hard to compare, or take seriously for that matter.  I was interested in seeing this movie since the trailer and was really hoping for the best.  Here is my run down:  The first half of this movie I felt as if it were about $200 away from a made for TV type flick.  It was overly dramatic, and with Ethan Hawke at the helm using his Batman voice I felt myself getting further away from caring.  It could have very well been the third movie with Hawke titled, "I hate my shitty life!"  The structure goes like this; Fighter Pilot with 3 missions and over 8000 hours of fly time gets pulled from the air and stuck in a box in Las Vegas to pilot Lethal Drones over the Middle East.  Former Pilot goes home every night to ignore his hot wife, and the kids, get drunk, and stare off into the distance for hours.  Well the movie gets better, and a little disturbing when you start to see the mass civilian deaths, brutal and savage attacks, and go deeper into the PTSD of Hawks character.  Overall I liked it.  I would like to see some better writing, and a different lead actor but I would recommend this for a good watch.  And remember, when you see the same guy dressed in his military uniform buy a handle of booze every night, you should probably mind your own damn business!!!

FYI:  Here are some of the names of people in the film:  Hawke, Coyote, January, and Sheets.  Sounds like the start of a good joke to me! :)

***1/2

Hot Tub Time Machine 2

If you haven't seen the first installment of this sophisticated franchise, don't be fooled by the name.  These movies are hilarious!  Part 2 was just as good as the first with more one liners for the frat house quoting galore.  This movie takes place just after the first one ends where everyone is famous because they were able to steal things from the future and make it theirs in the past.  If that concept sounds too complicated for you, its probably a good idea to stick to Lifetime Network.  Anyway, the gang has to step into the hot tub once again, this time to save a life.  A few spoilers for you, John Cusack is only in the movie for about 10 seconds because, well he just isn't funny.  There are some bad moments of this movie like the obvious rip offs from movies like 22 Jump Street, and The Hangover, but overall definitely worth the watch.  Soundtrack is good, scenes are funny and it stays true to its nasty nature.  Don't wait and watch the edited version, it wont come close to the laughs you will get from this gem.

FYI:  The original title of the film was Hot Tub Time Machine 3 (seriously)

***1/2

The Lazarus Effect

Damn!  Another situation where the hot chick becomes possessed and starts to kill everyone!  Talk about art imitating life!  Classic story, I've seen it a thousand times (especially living in Gilbert, AZ).  SO the question is, what do you get when you cross the movie "Flat-liners", with "Pet Sematary" and "Re-Animator"?  If you didn't guess The Lazarus Effect, then you are stupid and I am surprised you can even read!  Premise:  4 scientist, and one camera woman are shacked up in a University Laboratory testing animals trying to bring them back to life.  Sounds like a recipe for disaster if you ask me.  There are some Good, for instance Olivia Wilde and the dude from The League.  Cool nightmare scene, and good effects.  There are some really bad as well, such as they are all too young and pretty to be scientists with a resurrection breakthrough, (except for the dude from League).  This is a pretty common type movie with very few surprises.  It was a good watch if you need your pseudo horror fix, but dont expect too much.

FYI:  Olivia Wilde actually died 3 times while making this movie!

**1/2

Killing Season

Here is the Netflix pic that was a total dud!  This was possibly one of the biggest "throw away" movies I have seen in a long time.  Its hard to hate on a movie with De Niro as he is one of my favorite actors, but his track record has been rolling quickly down hill for a while.  And then there is Travolta...this guy loves to take on a challenge, and then fail.  He plays the movie as an ex Serb soldier with a Serbian accent, Serbian beard, and really bad acting.  The plot is that these are two Bosnian war vets who have a history with eachother during the conflict.  Travolta seeks out De Niro to take revenge for the carnage he was a part of in the war.  There are more back and forth scenes than a tennis match, each one a little more unbelievable and ridiculous than the last.  Each time one gets the upper hand, they make a stupid mistake and find themselves in the same reverse situation.  These alleged military trained bad asses seem to get their butts kicked repeatedly and could have just solved the situation in minutes.  I found myself saying WTF, and "Retarded" many times throughout the movie.  I will say some of the torture scenes were creative and cool to watch but only to end with an idiotic mistake.  Then the end, well watch for yourself but ill just let you know it was just plain stupid.  Go ahead and watch if you want to waste 90 minutes and have nothing else to do.  I warned you!

(FYI:  Nicholas Cage was set to play De Niro's role.  Thank God he didnt or I would give it 0 stars)

*

Prisoners

Great cast first of all.  This might be my new favorite Jake Gyllenhaal movie, he plays the part outstanding and has great lines.  Jackman is excellent as well and is a character that every father can relate to.  The story is a situation where two young girls go missing and the local idiot is the prime suspect.  He does a convincing job of the creepy weirdo who may or may not have a hidden agenda.  The families start to fall apart and get intertwined with the twisting story.  Gyllenhaal, who plays the lead detective on the case is a bad ass with an untold back story that keeps you wondering about his moral capacity.  The negatives of this is that Terrance Howard is kind of a pussy and the ending was cut short keeping you wanting more.  Overall excellent movie that will keep you on the edge of your seat and with it being over 2 hours, never really a dull moment.  I would suggest this movie to anyone wanting to pair their movie night with a beverage, we used multiple bottles of wine.

(FYI:  This movie took many years to make.  As a matter fact Mark Wahlberg and Christian Bale were set to star but opted out to make The Fighter instead)

***1/2

Glengarry GlenRoss

Okay, if you are in any type of sales or ever have been and you haven't seen this movie then you must have died before 1992 and you shouldn't be on my e mail list!  Here we have a move that I would easily put in my top ten for the dialogue alone, not to mention the cast, writing, structure, pace and overall plot.  The movie is roughly about a group of real-estate salesmen who aren't making the corporate established cut.  The bosses send in a top sales guru who has a harsh and extremely blunt message for the crew telling them that the new expensive leads are only for the best of the best.  The story unfolds with desperation and anger as the race for the top is a smack in the face, cut throat, old school sales world.  Now lets start with the cast, it rarely gets as all-star as this.  Al Pacino, Jack Lemon, Ed Harris, Alec Baldwin, Kevin Spacey, and Alan Arkin.  The so called villains are basically Spacey and Baldwin, but when your done you will most likely love Baldwin and hate Spacey.  This movie has one of the best speeches of any movie ever made!  It ranks right up with Samuel L Jacksons Pulp Fiction speech, or Robin Williams in Good Will Hunting.  His part in the movie is only about 10 minutes but it will blow you away.  One of the most memorable lines would be, "Put the Coffee Down!!!!"  "Coffee is for Closers and you are a Fuckin Looser!"   In conclusion, run, don't walk to your Netflix to watch this movie tonight!  This will be my first 5 star movie of the reviews, and well worth it.

(FYI:  Although the actors were only required to be on set certain days, they would show up to watch the others act)

*****

Lovelace

I'm pretty sure that everyone has heard of Linda Lovelace, if not, apparently you dont watch enough porn!  I had watched the trailers for this movie a few times and have always been interested in this story as there have been so many opinions of her life.  This move seems to be the best portrayal of a naive bright eyed girls horrible life of 30 years squeezed in to an hour and a half.  Linda Lovelace was the first mainstream name from the porn industry.  Here character played by Amanda Seyfried is just the first of a huge ensemble of A list actors in this movie, all of which played their parts very well.  James Franco as Hugh Heffner was a bit of a stretch but his role was small so I let it slide.  Sharon Stone playing Linda's mother was nearly unrecognizable and should really get more credit for her acting as she was excellent.  The movie will make you feel horrible for Lovelace as she is basically brainwashed into thinking there is no way out of her situation (forced into the Porn industry by an extremely abusive husband), only to have a roller coaster of fame one day and then abuse and torture the next.  Good movie with good acting, and with better directing and story lines quite possibly could have been the next Boogie Nights (but fell way short).  

(FYI-Olivia Wilde and Kate Hudson were also considered for the role of Linda Lovelace)

**1/2

Only God Forgives

Here is a movie that didn't get much promotion or credit.  Even casting Ryan Gossling (former sexiest man alive), there wasnt a lot of press to amp up this really well done flick.  This is a movie for the true movie buff mainly due to the extremely slow camera scenes with little or no talking and slow movement from the characters.  The cinematography was outstanding filmed in Bangkok with a serious 80's overture, it has style and a lot of good lighting.  Basically Gossling's character is a drug smuggler who has a front as an underground fight promoter with some serious anger issues and even bigger mommy issues.  Speaking of his Mom, played by Kristen Scott Thomas (who was incredibly hot in this movie, especially for being over 50) she nailed the role.  Her part is a ruthless, ethnocentric, bitch who is only there to grieve the death of her "Favorite" son.  There is quite a bit of blood and some gruesome scenes from the "bad guy" who also played the part of a creepy, weirdo well.  Not to mention a complete bad ass Asian dude.  Overall I thought the movie was great, a little pretentious, but good flick with a number of undertones of symmetry toward the dark world and revenge.

(FYI-Apparently the set of this movie while filming was haunted)

***

Dog Pound

This is the quintessential hidden Netflix gem.  Bad cover, dumb name, no big name actors and most likely when scrolling through, one that is passed by.  I was lucky enough to stop on it and watch one night and was very pleasantly surprised.  Gritty, dark and not filmed with a top notch digital camera look, but I think it is exactly what the director was going for.  This movie is based on a tough detention center for kids who have broken the law as a holding point to hopefully transition them out of the system and back on track with their lives.  The story follows a hand full of kids and their struggles with in the confines of lock-down.   Its a raw and intense story of the inmates dealing with torture, gang violence and harassment for the guards. This movie will make you hate a few of the characters so much that you will grip your fists.  It will also have you cheering for a few to complete the successful writing, character build up and overall emotion of a great movie.  

(FYI-many of the people cast in this film were and still are actual inmates)

***

Earthlings

Like meat?  How about leather coats?  You may even be a pimp and wear fur?  I thought so.  Thanks to Terry, I received a list of the top ten most disturbing documentaries, and this came up in the top 3.  Let me start by saying that I dont even like animals, love meat and nothing makes me look better than a full length chinchilla coat!  Ok, scratch the coat.  All of that being said, this movie made me want to become a Vegan immediately.  Even though it is narrated by one of the biggest douche bags-Joaquin Phoenix, it was a pretty powerful movie.  It is all hidden camera footage of the cruelty to animals from farms, mills, trapping for furs, and deep sea fishing, to 3rd world countries not giving one shit about the actual animal.  After watching this I read the discussion blogs and saw about a 70-30 split.  Those who would give up their own children for an animal (idiots), and those who would just as well slaughter anything living and laugh about it (idiots).  Pretty good wake up and worth the watch but only while eating a steak, wearing leather pants, and sprawled out on your bear skin rug.

FYI:  This is only part one of a soon to be trilogy.

**1/2

Big Bad Wolves

Who doesnt like a movie about an alleged pedophile, rapist, killer.  A Cheating, psycho middle aged man with his father, and a crooked cop?  I know I do!  Sounds a little like the "walks into a bar" jokes, but this movie kicked ass!  So Mr. weak, nerdy, school teacher is accused of doing some pretty terrible things to young girls and is confronted by a cop who is a little above the law.  Well talk about your all time back fire, things just go down hill from there for the poor school teacher.  This movie has it all, torture, blood, disturbing images, humor, well I guess that's not ALL, but definitely worth the watch.  Acting is very good, although it is Israeli made film with subtitles, you will really enjoy how the story unfolds.  Give it a shot, just not while your eating :)

FYI: Tarantino deemed this "The best movie of the year"

****

The Devils Pass

Remember that one time you went camping with a bunch of hipsters who thought they knew everything about everything and laughed when they were killed by unexplained forces?  That was awesome.  Here we have a group of kids who are unusually attached to the "true life" story of some Russian hikers who mysteriously die in the mountains.  Here they find some weird, unexplained things but of course forge on.  We  if you haven't caught on yet, the reoccurring theme here is that there is a lot of mystery and un-explainable things going on in this movie.  Its another found footage movie (which I love) but takes a really cool and different twist at the end.  Keep in mind this is a low budget horror flick, but I really liked it.  There are a number of things that dont make sense until the end and at that point the light bulb goes off.  Lessons from this movie:  Dont go hiking in an area where people mysteriously died.  #2, dont go to a mountain with a hidden door deliberately hidden by the Russian Military.  #3, if you have a nightmare about something terrifying, dont go try to rein-act it!

***

FYI:  Everything in this movie is 100% true!

The Ledge

We've got a JUMPER!!!  Is it bad when you watch a show about a dude on the ledge of a building and all you can think about is, "man I cant wait for this guy to take the leap"?   Actually it was a pretty good story about a guy who is obviously on the ledge of a building and the negotiator trying to talk him down.  I know, you have heard it all before but this one actually has a back story that is really interesting.  The writing sucked, which is too bad because the cast is pretty all-star.  Howard plays the cop, and he has his own demons chomping at him through the negotiation.  Patrick Wilson plays a Bible-Thumping asshole who really hates gay people, and Liv Tyler shows her boobs :)  I would recommend this, but be prepared for half ass writing, which in turn makes the acting seem a little shabby.

FYI:  Talk about a flop!  The budget on this film was around $10 million and the opening weekend scored a giant $5,176!!!!!!

***

I am a Ghost

Ha! Ha!  Stupid ghost!  You dont even know your a ghost!  This is a really cool movie that is a new and fresh take on the typical ghost story.  Its a little "Art-House" but I think that made it even creepier.  You may think that the beginning is slow and repetitive but trust me, the end will freak the shit out of you.  What we have here is a story of a young women who wakes up every morning to do the same chores every day, eat the same breakfast, and the normal things people do, like stab themselves in the hand with a butter knife.  Smash their head into the bathroom mirror, and of course freak out at the sound of something in the attic.  By the way, did I mention she is a ghost and doesnt know it?   I dont want to spoil the twist but the story takes a imaginative turn and really makes you think.  The end is scary and creeps you out, possibly due to the fact that it builds you up for an hour first.  I would recommend this movie to true movie lovers who will respect how well its made and recognize the symbolism.  You have to rent this one but be sure to watch it in the dark late at night for full effect.  If you watch it with your significant other, make sure you hide under the bed before they go to sleep after watching this and grab their ankle, it will be a riot! :)

FYI:  Although this film has won 10 major motion picture film awards, it is one of the most un-recognized movies with such credibility.

****1/2

The Family

You talkin to me?  Okay mafia fans, here is a little different take on the whole "Mob" movie craze and who better to lead the film but the king of Mafioso, DeNiro.  What you have is a good, wholesome, Italian-American family who might have made a few mistakes in their life now trapped in the FBI Witness Protection Program.  Most of the story takes place in France where they are "Stationed" and their reluctance to adapt is what makes the movie really pretty funny.  The kids are great by floating high above their age level in school manipulating the others to get what they want.  The all star cast does a great job, especially Tomy Lee Jones, as the Head FBI Agent.  One of the funniest parts is where DeNiro views "Goodfellas" for a french audience to give his take on the movies authenticity.  Biggest down-fall is that the movie seemed to end prematurely.  I feel like there should have been 15 more minutes and less of an ending that was like a bull in a china shop.  I would suggest watching the movie, just dont expect an Oscar winning reaction.  Available on Netflix now.

FYI: When Pfeiffer was approached to do the film she said if she doesnt have any scenes with DeNiro she wouldnt even read the script.

***

Pain and Gain

On a lighter note.....Tired of getting sand kicked in your face?  Try the workout of these musclebound meat-heads in Michael Bay's true story!  What we have here are three of the biggest idiot bodybuilders in Miami played perfectly by Wahlberg, The Rock, and Mackie.  They come up with a fool-proof plan of your typical snatch and grab kidnapping of a millionaire in order to steal his cabbage.  Well as I'm sure you can imagine these dumb asses screw up in about every way possible.  I really liked this movie!  The cast is excellent and keeps you on the edge of your seat throughout.  After reading more about it there seems to be little that is made up and its really hard to believe that they get as far as they do.  You will get plenty of your Michael Bay signature explosions, action and comedy that is highly entertaining.  I would suggest this movie to everyone, just as soon as you get done working out.

FYI:  Johnson and Wahlberg took large pay cuts to keep the budget down on this film.

****1/2

A Serbian Film

Have you seen this movie?  Have you even heard of it?  If so its more than likely for reasons of negativity.  Here are a few words that come to mind after watching this film.  Filth, Muck, Retched, Disgusting, Foul, Repulsion, and the list goes on and on.  I have been wanting to see this movie for a long time and finally found it on YouTube of all places.  I can honestly say I wish I wouldn't have ever heard of this highly disturbing movie because I cant get the content out of my brain!  Its burned in there for good and unfortunately you cant un watch this!  Think of this not so much of a review but as a warning to stay far away, it will damage you.  There are so many events in this film that are well acted and realistic that I found myself either clenching my fists in anger or dry heaving.  So if you decide that your curiosity has gotten the best of you, just remember what it did to the cat.  If you still want to watch this and come out finding nothing wrong and not disturbed, you need immediate psychological help!

FYI:  Holds a record of 19 minutes of cuts in the United States in order to achieve an NC-17 rating

** (only because of the dramatic effect it has on the viewers)

The Bell Witch Haunting

You know me, I love cheesy "B" rated horror movies but this was a pretty much a pile of crap.  Although a little scary and made you think for a few hours after watching it, it was basically a complete rip off of The Blair Witch, Paranormal Activity and any other haunted house found footage film.  the best actor is the Justin Timberlake look alike who is impaled half way through the film.  This terribly acted film litterally steals scenes from every horror movie you have seen and the fact that the family ignores the events happening to them night after night is really, really stupid.  I mean, c'mon, if you have a bed sheet suffocating you in the middle of the night, the couch might seem like a better option the next time you settle in.  I would only watch this if you have exhausted every other supernatural movie on your que, otherwise dont bother.

FYI: They rushed through the production of this movie so fast that they changed the name of the Mom from beginning to the end without even knowing!  Good one.

*1/2

The Iceman

Michael Shannon (who is as weird as they come) plays the part of a poor, misunderstood hit-man that really doesn't do anything wrong, other than kill about 100 people in cold blood.  This true story is about a former porn movie editor who's boss decides to recruit him into the killing business.  The Iceman goes years without a bump in the road all the while getting married and having two kids.  He has a perfect cover and teams up with a nearly unrecognizable Chris Evans, you know, Captain America.  They set up shop killing, chopping up body parts, and living the high life until some dirty undercover snitch rats them out.  The cast in this movie is excellent with Liotta, Rider, Shannon, Evans, Dorff, Franco and even a whiny long haired David Schwimmer.  This has been called Goodfellas meets Pulp Fiction, not sure if I agree with that but watch the Iceman Documentary and see the interviews from the Real Iceman who doesnt give 1 shit about killing anyone.  Good underrated flick, I would give it a must watch.

FYI:  The real Iceman killer admits to being responsible for the killing of Jimmy Hoffa, sticking him in the trunk of a car and demolishing it at a auto recycling center.

***1/2

Don Jon

Typical story of  boy meets girl, boy falls in love, boys heart gets broken, boy meets a much older girl, by the way boy is addicted to porn.  We have seen it a million times, at least those who are willing to admit it anyway.  Good movie!  Joseph Gordon-Levitt (JGL) really has some acting chops!  I have always liked his movies with exception to G.I. Joe, but he is actually a really good actor.  He not only acted in this one but wrote and directed it as well.  He embraces the East-Coast Goombah douche-bag character and plays the part of a selfish asshole perfectly.  I especially love the way he acts int he car driving because it is exactly like me!  So this good looking dude who is infamous for landing 8's or above at the clubs every weekend falls for a princess who ends up breaking his heart and he finds solace elsewhere and figures out that he doesn't have to big such an idiot all the time.  Great cast with Tony Danza playing a perfect role as an east coast dad.  I would give this a watch but keep in mind that your browser history needs to be deleted every night! :)

FYI: Channing Tatum was actually supposed to play the lead role but JGL decided he would do it himself.  Good choice, but wait for 22 Jump Street!

***1/2

The Devils Due

I'm sure by the title of this film you can already tell that it is your classic romantic love story following a newlywed couple from Honeymoon to baby time.  I would suggest any couple expecting their first baby to off the lights, pop some corn and sit for this soon to be classic tear-jerker.  No?  Well maybe its a little more of your average found footage horror film, and again a movie with pretty bad reviews I liked it.  Kind of a Rosemary's Baby sort of film with a different take on the whole Antichrist theme.  This couple looses a night in the Dominican while on their Honeymoon and find out she is pregnant once they return home.  Her behavior takes a turn for the worst and she basically becomes a nutso!  If any of you have ever lived through the excruciating torture of living with a pregnant woman for 9 months, you completely understand the previous comments :)  I have always been a fan of the "Found Footage" type movies and like the way they throw normal, realistic boring life activities in with the scary stuff.  I would give it a shot, it gets tense at times and you really like the characters.  My biggest complaint is the end, I wont spoil anything but I was rolling my eyes thinking, "really".  Of course, in my opinion all horror movies are good!

FYI:  Budget on this film was $7 million, with an opening weekend of over $9 mil, and a gross so far of over $15 mil.  Take that Critics!

***1/2

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty

Regardless of the bad reviews and a bit of a bust at the Box Office, I really liked this movie.  We have this guy Walter, a nerdy, basement office dweller who is kind of an introvert, (we have all worked with one of these before and if you havent guess what...).  Anyway, he is a much more interesting fellow than meets the eye.  Working for Time Magazine for their last printed issue, he is under the gun by the new asshole in charge to produce the cover photo on time.  The movie shows him finding himself to save his job and discover what he is really missing in life.  The music was excellent and the cinematography was outstanding.  This has been called the Forest Gump of today, well dont listen to that!  Very in depth with well played hidden analogies that tie the movie together.  I would call this a must watch movie that may even inspire you to get off your butt and do something.  

FYI:  Actors Jim Carrey, Owen Wilson, Mike Myers and Sacha Baron Cohen were all considered for the role of Mitty during the development of this film.

****

Here Comes the Devil

Now here is your family friendly movie that can bring you all closer while watching.  I mean, come on, the title alone makes you want to pop some corn and hunker down on the couch with the kids.  This movie has it all!  Romance, Drama, a Villain, and even subtitles.  Basically two kids (who are weird to begin with) go up a mountain, get lost and come back even weirder.  The family tries to deal with what actually happened and speculate the what they think is the worst.  That is until Mom figures out the truth.  Actually a really good story, with a different take on horror.  If you can handle sub-titles give it a shot, you will especially love the part when someones neck gets cut open and larynx ripped out with bare hands.  Like I said, good wholesome, family fun.

FYI:  This movie grosses a whopping $783 US Dollars on opening weekend!

***

We're the Millers

I will admit I was very skeptical of this movie thinking it would be one of those "all the funny parts are in the previews" sort of movie.  I was pleasantly surprised.  The movie is about a low life drug dealer who is recruited to be a mule across the border of Mexico with a "smidgen" of pot.  Turns out it is hundreds of pounds.  He comes up with a brilliant scheme to create a fake family and use an RV to smuggle.  The family is made up of misfits which makes the story really good.  First of all Sudeikis is really funny, he has a good way with the comedic approach and according to my sister he is rumored to have an enormous johnson!!!  Aniston just gets hotter with every movie, it helps that she is a stripper in this one, but at the rate she is going she will be the hottest woman in the world 20 years from now.  There are some really good lines and characters in this movie for a light whatever kind of watch.  I dont give comedies much in depth review because with the exception of only a few, they are just basic stories.  Worth a watch, you will get some laughs.

FYI: Jason Bateman, Will Arnett, and Steve Buscemi were all considered for the lead at various stages of development before Jason Sudeikis was cast.

***1/2

The Amazing Spiderman

If you haven't heard about this Marvel character yet, its basically about a kid who gets bit by a spider that has been tested scientifically and becomes a spider like man.  Oh, you know about him?  So I usually dont put a movie in that is in the theaters but took the kids to see this last weekend and thought it was pretty cool.  You dont need the premise or story line, because honestly you wont be surprised so I will just tell you the good, the bad, and the ugly.  Here we go;  The Good: The Amazing Spider-Man (Andrew Garfield) movies are so much better than the McGuire ones its crazy!  Emma Stone is pretty hot, and the action scenes are really cool.  The Bad:  How many villains can you throw in a single movie?  Apparently......all of them!  The Ugly:  Dane DeHaan, wow this kid is the Green Goblin, before he is the Green Goblin!  Overall, really cool movie, I would see it again.  Almost as good as the first one other than the lizard dude.  So grab your flasks, sneak in a burrito, and head to the theater.  Its worth it.

FYI:  This is the first "Spider-Man" film to be filmed entirely in New York, and the largest film production ever in New York City. $300,000,000 budget!!!

***1/2

12 Years a Slave

Classic story about another privileged violin player who thinks he is better than everyone else, and finally gets whats coming to him!  Okay, just kidding, you have to make some sort of light with this story as the entire thing is pretty bleak.  So you have this guy Solomon who is a free black man in the North during the late 1800's who is tricked, captured, and sold into slavery in the South.  If there is one thing you know about southerners, its that they looooove slaves!  He is bought and sold a few times as a slave for a number of years, (I cant remember how many exactly) enduring some horrific conditions and treatment.  Overall, I would say this movie well deserved the best movie award and should be watched by everyone.  If you are white, I would recommend inviting all of your black friends over to watch it with you, should be a great time!

FYI:  Steve McQueen's daughter told him to hire Sarah Paulson after viewing her audition tape because she found her extremely scary.

****1/2

Tucker and Dale vs Evil

Here is a movie that has been stuck in my Netflix Que for a really long time.  So long in fact that I forgot to even care about watching it, and honestly didnt want to.  I love scary movies and really have a hard time watching the spoofs but I was told that I should watch this by other movie buffs.  Its a simple story of two hillbillies who buy a vacation cabin in the spooky woods and just so happen to run into a group of teenagers on a weekend camping trip.  Both parties think the others are there to kill them and the misunderstandings along with the accidents really get things going.  It was just okay.  The lead girl is really hot, but unfortunately never gets naked like a real horror movie should have :)  Watch if your bored, if anything for the title alone.

FYI: All of the college kids actually died in the production of this movie.  Just kidding, A rough cut of the film was leaked which revealed various moments when lines are dubbed and when post-production effects are used.  It also shows that much of the likes were ad-libbed. 

*1/2

Get the Gringo

I have avoided this movie for a while mainly due to the title thinking it was a campy, comedy about how stupid Americans are in Mexico.  Well, I was dead wrong.  I decided to give this flick a try and was really impressed.  Mel can have his ups and downs but I still like his bad ass characters.  He plays a bank robber who ends up in a notorious Mexican prison.  One of the great quotes in this movie is when he arrives, looking around says, "is this a prison or the worlds shittiest Mall?"  He gets tied up in the infrastructure of this place and the story gets pretty good.  Not to realistic, but damn, your watching a movie!

FYI: While filming Mel Gibson met a man suffering from a rare cancer and wrote a letter to the US Embassy to get him admitted to an American hospital for treatment, paying for everything.

***1/2

Beerfest

Well as you just read, I mentioned Beerfest in the review above.  Now I cant possibly mention my favorite comedy without indulging!  Here we have a pair of brothers who travel to Germany to spread their recently departed Grandfathers ashes only to find them selves mixed up in an underground beer drinking contest.  I shouldn't have to tell you much more because if you haven't seen this amazing movie, than you shouldn't even be allowed to watch TV.  This is a movie that can seriously be watched over and over again without getting bored and is another that is near perfect.  This is also the most quoted movie of all time (for me anyway).  The jokes and the humor they put into this is incredible.  Justin and I actually got to meet Landfill and Fink, they are our best friends.  This flick started to get a little overplayed on Comedy Central but just hold off and put in your unedited DVD.  It also makes you want to drink, alot!  

FYI:  The final scene with the message "Coming Soon - Potfest" was confirmed by Broken Lizard as a joke to make this film have an open-ended feel. The troupe said there has been fan support to create the sequel, which might be made as an animated film.

****1/2 (the only reason it doesn't have 5 stars is I still put "The Big Lebowski" ahead of it)

The Way Way Back

This will be only my third 5 star movie since last Dec.  If you havent seen this outstanding flick yet, get to it!  Not only is the cast great, but two member of the Water Park employee pool actually wrote and directed it.  One is Nat Faxon, who is in one of my favorite movies of all time, "Beerfest".  This is a story of an awkward young teenager who goes to a beach house vacation with his Mom and her boyfriend and is pretty much completely miserable until he finds Water Wizz!  He becomes friends with the manager (Rockwell) and begins to find his own.  Sam Rockwell completely kills his part and in my opinion makes this movie!  You will stay interested through the entire movie and realize that many of the situations are all too real.  This is one of those movies that is so close to being perfect you start searching for things wrong with it.  A must see.

FYI:  The title "The Way Way Back" refers to the very back seat in the 1970's station wagons that were hidden in the trunk storage area.

*****

The Real Rocky

I know, it an ESPN made for TV movie, but anything that has to do with Rocky, I'm gonna watch.  Pretty interesting since most people think that the Rocky franchise was actually based on the life of Rocky Marciano.  This documentary is done really well focusing on Chuck Wepner, a liquor sales man in New Jersey who at one point fought for the Heavy Weight championship against Mohammad Ali.  He is the only fighter to last 15 rounds with Ali which in turn gave him the biggest long shot title ever.  He actually knocked Ali down in the fight but some controversy shows that he stepped on his foot.  The interesting part of the movie was that Wepner pursed a civil suit against Stallone sueing him for the royalty rights of the story.  Wepner states that the movies are so similar to his life that most of the story was stolen from him and got the short end of the stick.  There are a lot of similarities such as Wepner fighting Andre the Giant, being a leg breaker from Jersey, and have a long shot title given to him and going the distance.  Not sure how much I agree but if your a fan of boxing and like the underdog, this is worth a watch.

FYI:  Wepner went 130 fights before ever getting knocked down

***

Troll Hunter

Okay, I know the title may throw you off a bit and yes this is a foreign film with subtitles.  So if you dont know how to read, this probably isint a movie for you.  Here we have yet another "lost footage" film that does everything it can to make you believe it is true.  While watching this movie you will soon find out that even trying to get you to believe it is true makes the movie just that much more ridiculous.  That being said, I actually liked the film and it kept me entertained, even though it was a story about...wait for it...Trolls!  Set in Norway, there are occurrences of Bears being illegally killed by a poacher.  This prompts a group of college kids to film a documentary of an alleged poacher.  They soon team up with him as he allows them to film his hunting only to find out he is actually part of a hidden government group who eliminates...wait for it...Trolls!  The trolls are exactly what you would think they would look like from fairy tales, but really, really big.  If you can get over the fact of what it is they are hunting you may actually like this film with no name actors and some cool scenes.  Give it a shot, they introduce some cool ideas.

FYI:  There is actually a "Troll Awareness Society" in Norway.  This large group of people actually think Trolls exist!!!!

***