The Snowtown Murders

Well, after watching about 5 movies dealing with Australia I have come to the conclusion that I don't ever want to go there.  Why?  I guess because of the constant man on man rape, torturous killings, dirty slime balls, poverty stricken chain smokers who would just assume bite you than talk, did I mention the raping?  Here is yet another true story of this God forsaken place following a young impressionable teen who is manipulated into the world of murder and torture.  Mostly with his family and friends.  I can see why, his home life was unsatisfying at best.  Occasionally he would be raped by his older, dumber brother.  The food sucked, his neighbor liked to take naked pictures of him and his brothers, his mom was the town whore, so I guess you can say he had it all.  Well one by one, the new boyfriend of his mom starts to bring around his crew who all like a little bit of the ultra-violence.  This film was creepy and slow, but was addicting.  You really wait to see what comes next and get annoyed with the staleness of the main character (who is likely a descendant of Heath Ledger).  Give this one a shot since it is a free Netflix streaming event, you may like the twisted psychotic feel it gives you.

FYI:  How many other movie references did I mention in this review? :)

**1/2

Lights Out

Well, the previews were good anyway.  I almost stopped the entire review after that first sentence but figured I have always been long winded when talking about movies, why stop now?  I LOVE horror movies, all types.  Thrillers, Slasher, Supernatural, B-Rated, you name it.  So I am a little bias when it comes to that genre but I am still honest.  We have our main ingredients for this Hollywood Blockbuster of a scary movie.  1. Bat-Shit crazy Mom with some deep secrets and psychotic demeanor.  2. Hot Daughter who is rebellious and has Daddy issues.  3. Creepy, shadowy, un-killable gargling monster with only one vice, light.  Boom, there you have it, a recipe for success in the cinematic world of today!  What was wrong you ask?  Well here are a few thoughts from me:  Pretty loose and kind of dumb story.  Rushed and wanted to be a less smart version of "The Ring".  No reason as to why anything was happening.  Oh, and not scary.  There were a few good points for potential, and the monster, ghost, thing was pretty vicious.  Also, this is probably the hottest I have ever seen Teresa Palmer, usually she looks like a homeless crack addict.  I would watch it to get your curious scare fix but don't spend more than a dollar.  You will be disappointed, which is why I cant figure out why the reviews are mostly really good?!?!

FYI:  A sequel was immediately green lit after this movie with a $5 million budget made 4 times that on the opening weekend!

**1/2

Room

There aren't many times where you read a book, then watch the movie and think, "Wow, I really liked the movie better than the book!"  Well, this is not one of those times!  If you haven't seen this movie yet I really don't know what my advice would be.  I read the book first and was pretty disappointed in the adaptation, but if I would have watched the movie first it would have spoiled a lot of the great tense scenes written out in the book.  All in all I really wasn't to upset with the movie, but they were not very detailed and almost completely changed most of the second half.  If your going to take a very well written book where every little detail matters, you better get it right and include it on the screen.  Just to give you a recap; Mom and son are held captive in a locked "room".  It comes out later that she was abducted by a sick, piece of shit, rapist 7 years ago and now has a 5 year old son who knows nothing of the outside world but this room.  Mom, creates a whole world with routine, chores, exercise, and learning for this poor kid but when they come up with a plan to escape, that is when even more fear and adventure come into play.  This is a great story and will give you a lump in your throat if your human.  Definitely give this a shot, but I would highly recommend reading the book as it gives you so much more.

FYI:  Old Nick which is the nickname for the kidnapper is also another name for the Devil in old world Christianity

***1/2.

Imperium

When I think good ole fashion family film, I go directly to the Nazi, Skinhead, Klan section and bask in the narrow-mindedness of the ignorant in breads of Western Civilization!  Talk about a good night on the couch with popcorn.  Once again Daniel Radcliffe surprises me and rocks another role (the last being Horns).  He plays the real life undercover FBI agent who goes deep in order to uncover an extremist group with "big plans" to help cleanse the world.  Although he runs into a few road blocks along the way, he finally gets his man.  This movie was pretty tense and ended up being a great sleeper.  There were some problems don't get me wrong, such as Collette being a little to chompie with the gum and a little cheesy with the role.  Also, some of the skinheads were a little to quick to walk away but really these were minor in comparison to the rest of the film.  I would love to read up on this and find out the true story but it might make me cringe.  Can you believe we still have hate groups in America?  Good God people, watch the Olympics or something!

FYI:  The actors and crew members would use a bicycle to go between downtown and the studio set up.

****

Suicide Squad

Drum roll please!  The most talked about movie in a very long time, now on my review site!  Strap in, get ready to comment, argue, yell, agree, whatever!  Here we go!

The best thing that could have happened for me before watching this movie was reading about 2000 terrible and destroying reviews of how ridiculous and awful this movie was.  My expectations were quite low and I actually considered not going.  Well you all know me and to skip a movie of any sort would mean I was dead!  I have to start by saying I really don't understand the bad ratings, first off its a movie based on a comic book that none of you suckers have ever even read.  Also, it has to squeeze multiple complex characters within a few hours or everyone would bitch about it being to long.  Did I mention it was based on a comic book?!?!?  I have decided to break this review down into the good and the bad:

The good:  Awesome soundtrack, Harley Quinn's lines were great and she is so hot!  Dead shot was a great pick for the unofficial leader and was the glue.  El Diablo was likely the best character, his story was amazing and he should have his own standalone movie.  The character development was great and a perfect way to start the movie.  The Joker played that particular Joker role really well but didn't really need to be in the movie at all.

The bad:  Crock?  Unnecessary.  Slip Knot?  Who?  Was he even in this movie?  Needed a lot more of a backstory on the enemy, the ghosts brother, and why they were there in the first place.  Seemed like the whole movie was built up for a sequel.  Dead Shot was great, but I wish he was more like a bad guy instead of the "Will Smith" with a big heart.  Could have been a 5 hour movie and been better.  Might have been better as an HBO series?

Overall it was outstanding!  The biggest complaint from viewers was the plot confusion.  Not sure what the confusion was.  Aliens once again came to kill humans so the CIA grabbed the bad ass villains to stop them.  If they fail, who cares, no wanted lives mattered.  If they win, it stays under wraps.  Give this a shot and don't listen to the haters, if you are a true movie fan, you will keep in mind that this was just another comic book movie that should be fun!

FYI:  Tom Hardy was originally cast as Rick Flag but dropped out.  He played Bane who was an original member of the Suicide Squad in the comics.

****1/2

The Purge-Election Year

With election time right around the corner, I though it would be appropriate to discuss where our great country could be headed.  No, I'm not making a political statement here, we are screwed either way!  Okay, just kidding, I certainly don't want a riot started on account of a movie review site!  Well if you thought this series was dead, you were so wrong!  These just keep getting better!  After watching the first installment I really thought it was wasted ideas and fell short.  Then they almost mixed the original idea with hints of "The Warriors" to make two more extremely satisfying films.  The premise of the 3rd, if you cant tell is it is election time, and one of the front runners is trying to abolish the Purge.  Well the fat cats and conservatives don't like this and will stop at nothing to end her reign.  Great characters, good tense scenes, and Elizabeth Mitchell is super hot!  Frank Grillo doesn't get near the credit he should for being an action star and Bubba is just your common, cool city folk.  Give this one a shot, it is really neck and neck with the second but much better than the first.

FYI:  Only one character appeared in all three movies.

****

The Shallows

Did anyone over the age of 20 see the previews for this movie and really want to go see it?  If the answer is yes, here is question #2.  What if Blake Lively wasnt in it?  I am pretty sure the selling point of this movie was for pre teens who love sharks, or middle age men fantasizing about lively in a bikini for 2 hours!  I may be wrong and if so, sorry you sent the cash.  The movie, here is what you need to know.  Hot chick goes surfing alone at a secluded beach in a country she barely knows.  Hot chick stays out just a little to long.  Hot chick becomes stranded on a rock a few hundred yards from the beach because a giant, psycho, killer shark is stalking her.  Sound familiar?  That is probably because the same premise is used in about 30 other movies.  It was actually tense in many parts and had some good action, unfortunately there were way too many scenes that were cringe worthy.  Here are a few to spoil the fun.  The stitching scene, really?  The shark slayer scene, c'mon!  Overall it was just okay.  I would definitely watch it for free somewhere but like I mentioned before, at least Lively was in it!

FYI:  This film was voted the best liked script that was never made before the movie was released

***

The 33

Talk about your all time Man Cave!  Wow!  This thing had everything!  Enough canned food for 3 days, dirty water, 33 stinky men in 100 degree heat!  Don't forget about the candles, head lamps and the biggest toilet you have ever seen!  I don't know what all the fuss was about, these guys had it good.  Just ask any married man if they could spend 69 days in their man cave would they do it?  Hell yes!  Okay, so it was a little too far underground and not really much food and oh, they were trapped and dying!  This is the true story of the 33 Chilean miners who were trapped 2000 feet underground for 69 days with only enough food for a few people for 3 days.  They entered an unstable mountain to begin with with no remorse from the owners and to their luck were saved.  The perseverance of the Minister of Mining in Chile, the drillers from around the world and an American who kept hope really decided the fate of these poor guys.  The acting was really good and the intensity of the emotions keeps you on your toes.  Yes, it is in English!  The biggest complaint from the so called critics was that it should have been in Spanish.  Maybe, but after a few minutes you don't even notice and who cares!  Great movie with a lot you can bring out of it.  Give it a watch and its on HBO right now!

FYI:  Banderas met the man he played and asked him to be an adviser on the set.

****

A Hologram for the King

Ah sales!  In every form, every product, every environment, sales is sales.  You have to put on your poker face, kiss some ass, be liked but not to liked, look cool, but not to cool, have swagger but just enough to show confidence that is just enough.  Have all the right tools in your bag, use them accordingly, know your audience, and believe in your product.  If you do all of these things, play your cards right and the stars align, you will get your ass kicked by the Chinese, selling the same thing for less money and faster turn around times!!!  Well this underappreciated movie which received mediocre reviews and was pretty much swept under the rug was a breath of fresh air.  The style of it was great and Hanks rarely lets you down.  The story was based on a book that I cant help but think is a rip off from Death of a Salesman.  Hanks is a somewhat failed business man who is sent to Saudi to sell a new IT technology to the King.  Along the way he begins to find himself and figure his lost way in life.  Flashbacks of his failed past and his dreamlike sequences are great.  The only complaint I have on this one is the ending was so rushed I felt like they either ran out of money or just go bored.  It is a little of a Walter Mitty type and definitely worth the watch!

FYI:  Actually filmed in Morocco

****

Into the Forest

What is the longest you have gone without power?  I personally have gone a gut wrenching 2 days during a storm in Nebraska.  The worst part, no TV!!!  Oh, and the fact that most of the food spoiled.  Well imagine if the power went out in the whole world for over a year, or for ever!  That exact scenario just so happens to these two winey spoiled brats, and guess what, the world sneaks up on them!  First off, they live so far outside of any town that they are late to the show on preparation and have to rely on their survival skills, which is basically none unless you factor in that they are complete brainiacs.  Shit gets a little real when the worst happens and survival is extreme.  Actually a pretty good movie, some slow and meaningless parts but pretty intense.  If you don't already know, you will get a good look at Ellen Page and Evan Rachel Wood, topless!  Page is gross if you ask me but boobs are boobs, right?  Give this one a shot, it really dives into the emotions of our society and how man reacts when thrown into an unfamiliar situation.

FYI:  This movie crushed it on opening weekend with just over a whopping $6k!

***1/2