Tuesday, September 20, 2016

31


Dear Mr. Zombie, you are one sick twisted son-of-a-bitch!  I think your warped sense of humor and gratuitous use of gore is utterly disgusting!  Your character development may work in most of your films, but the over use of these washed up, haggy, has-beens is truly appalling!  The portrayal of the filthy, raw, repugnant settings are enough to make your skin crawl and I feel like taking a scolding hot shower after ever film!  I should have recognized the red flag after listening you your music in High School, but now that my stomach is weaker, I truly understand the undertones of your film making.  In short, you are disgusting and I love everything about your movies!  Keep em coming please!

This was just written for all of those haters of Rob Zombies movies out there.  What did you expect?!?!  Of all his movies this one fell a little short.  The dialogue was kind of thrown together with no editing and I feel like they cut some crucial scenes.  Understandable since this was taken over by a new studio after the first one went bankrupt and was highly fan funded.  Otherwise it was awesome!  Great story, awesome blood and gore, fun characters and Sherri Moon is still hot as ever.  Find this and watch it if you are a fan, you will have fun throughout and love the killer clowns!

FYI:  Some fans who helped fund this movie played henchmen in the "Murderworld" setting.

***

The Neighbor


C'mon, I know you have done it.  Everyone spy's on their neighbors every now and then.  Maybe your looking for dirt because they pissed you off.  Maybe you want to see inside their house, or maybe your looking for the gratuitous tit shot???  Well let this be a warning to you all, knock it off!  This movie may just be your survival guide to having the creepy neighbor next door.  Talk about a diamond in the rough!  I fell upon this movie by sheer dumb luck never having heard of it before and was extremely impressed!  Drug runners (and young lovers) live in a small farm house out in the middle of nowhere having just one neighbor a ways down the road.  While the man is hard at work, running drugs of course, the little lady has all day in the house to spy on the creepo next door (eloquently played by Bill Engvall).  Well she stumbles upon a for your eyes only sort of shit, and you can only imagine what happens here.  This is an intense, stressful, thriller that has a great story, back story and somewhat predictable twist at the end.  I absolutely loved this movie and would highly recommend it to everyone but my wife who will be staring at her phone the entire time due to the tension.

FYI:  1 in 3 neighbors in the world has a dark secret.  Which one are you?!?!?

****1/2

Battle Royal


Well here is an oldie but goodie!  Now available to stream on Netflix, its the original kid killing movie!  Ahhh, the Japanese overacting, the highly stereotypical school-girl outfits, the super fake red blood, this film has all the makings of the low budget cult classic hit it has grown to be.  I am pretty sure every film that has kids hunting each other is a rip off of this one, (Hunger Games, Maze Runner, The Selected).  Japanese culture has implemented a "Battle Royal" law for the society of its children.  They have become completely disrespectful to the adults and once they cross the line too many times, boom!  They get shipped off to an island with sensors around their neck and forced to kill each other.  Only one can survive and the resident history teacher is at the helm!  Great acting, sort of, but makes you think of watching a live Japanese Animation feature.  Give this one a shot, disturbing when you think of the plot, but trust me, you wont even care.  Its a good time and fun to watch, not to mention you will be able to tell the movie nerds that you have seen it.

FYI:  Over 800 students auditioned for the school kid parts in this movie.

***1/2

Friday, September 9, 2016

Frank


Who would you rather go see in concert?  A group of grungy, S&M looking, horror mask wearing psycho death metal addicts in a band like Slipknot, or Frank (pictured above).  Yes, that is Frank, mask and all.  As a matter of fact he never takes it off, ever.  Here is the story of Frank:  He is a genius songwriter in a band made up of his hand picked misfits.  After meeting an aspiring young musician (with a credit card) they decide to take a retreat and record the greatest album ever made.  Well, Frank is very eccentric and the newcomer has a hard time getting over his antics and his head.  They end up getting invited to SXSW and the unstable Frank has a hard time dealing with the new recognition.  This is a sweet hidden gem on Netflix and should be watched immediately.  It is a great combination of humor, catchy music, drama and an underlining story of overcoming your own personal demons.  The fact that Fassbender plays Frank is awesome, especially since he is one of the greatest actors of our time.  There is a lot of depth to this flick and with songs that are extremely catchy and about nothing, it puts you at ease watching.  You will want to watch it again.

FYI:  Based on the iconic Frank Sidebottom (Chris Sievey)

*****

Hector and the Search for Happiness


Who the hell is happy!?  The minute you actually feel happiness you think of all the bad in your life and boom!  Its gone!  Happiness is overrated, grumpy old men live longer because they hate!  And I hate happy people!  I hate everything and am constantly pissed off!  Get off my lawn!  This is what my wife hears when I talk.  Its a loose translation of me actually saying something like, "this pizza is pretty good even though I have had better."  Well Hector, played perfectly by Simon Pegg is a psychiatrist who is not grumpy, not happy just kind of there.  He is a little bit miserable even though he has a pretty good, but boring life.  He decides to take a journey and research what makes people happy.  He sets out on his travels around the world meeting interesting people and have an incredible adventure.  It is a little Walter Mitty, and Forest Gump type of story telling but honestly this movie was outstanding!  The characters are very well developed and there is so much scene and section changes that you are kept interested the entire time.  It is a feel good movie and has a great meaning to the world we live in that will help you to understand some of your thoughts of wanting more.  This is a must watch and will leave you with a smile.

FYI:  Dan Mangan, the composer of most of the soundtrack is in this movie in a number of scenes.

*****

The Veil


So, think of the scariest, most horrifying place imaginable.  Throw in a creepy, haunted past with mass murders and religious sacrifice.  Now accept an invitation from a bunch of strangers who want to film you and go there and hang out.  If you thought that sounded like a good idea then this movie is for you and you are my friend!  There have been a number of movies inspired by the Jonestown Mass Suicide, some much better than others.  This is one of those but with a bit of a twist.  A group of film makers inspired by events that happened at a commune 25 years ago track down the only survivor of the cult like community. They document her remembrances at the very farm this all happened when she was a little girl.  Once there, as you can imagine, strange things start to happen.  Its a cross between a ghost/supernatural story, and a mystery/thriller that is carried by the great Thomas Jane.  He plays the cult leader and knocks it out of the park!  Of course there is Jessica Alba, who could watch paint dry and I would still watch her all day.  The story is good and has a cool timeline with events that bring everything together at the end.  Good watch and worth checking out.

FYI:  An entire reel of film went missing during post production and they had to re shoot a number of scenes.  Ghosts???

***

Hellions


It's just around the corner, the greatest holiday ever.  Halloween!  Why not start watching some Devils Night themed movies, and with a cover like this, how can you pass it up?!  I know, it may look like your average throw away low budget horror flick, especially with a tag line of "The are not here for candy."  But, well, it is a low budget, campy horror flick but extremely stylish and has a nice flow that keeps confusing the viewer (on purpose).  My take on this pro-life propaganda flick is the undertones are extreme in symbolizing abortion, un-wed pregnancy, and teenage shenanigans!  Basically, this super hot blonde teen finds out she is prego from her dirt bag boyfriend on Halloween.  A little down in the dumps, she stays home while her family goes out trick or treating.  Now she has to survive the night from some deranged candy grabbers who begin to terrorize her.  Little Hellions!  The acting is just OK, and the story is nothing really new but the stylized cinematography was really cool and had a bit of a dream like theme.  If you like these type of movies you will enjoy this messy little movie.

FYI:  A lot of the movie was shot with an infrared lens.

***

Friday, September 2, 2016

Rabid Dogs


Things aren't always what they seem, and in this French film, you will wonder if you had it figured out all along, or not?  You just get done robbing a bank and need a quick getaway.  What do you do?  I say grab a hot chick to use as a shield, then a father taking his young daughter to the hospital so you can have the car.  There, three hostages, three back robbers, and a bag full of money.  Perfect, right?  Possibly, but like in all French films, things turn weird, and there is always a twist.  This movie brought some tense moments and you really start to like the character development but fell just a tad short.  It is a remake of a 70's Italian, exploitation film but changed in a number of ways without improvement.  If you haven't seen the original than you will most likely really enjoy this as long as you can read because it has subtitles.  Good acting for the most part and a story that takes you through a journey keeping your eyes on the screen wondering what will happen next.  The best part is is, it is streaming on Netflix right now!!!  Happy Friday TV Watching!

FYI:  The original Italian film was released 23 years after if was completed due to legal issues.

***1/2

Blood Father


Dear Hollywood actors,

If you want to make it in this industry there are a few rules you have to follow.  1. stay in shape.  2. be an extremist, most commonly a bleeding heart liberal.  3. What ever you do, don't piss off the Jews.  4. Even if you follow rules 1 & 2, rule #3 will still ruin your career.

Sincerely,

Mel Gibson

This is just another example of one hell of a good actor, a great movie, and a former master of Hollywood is still and will continue to be blacklisted due to his anti-semantic rants.  One drunkin night caught on film is enough to ruin you in Tinsel Town, and Gibson is the prime target.  No theaters, no press, no promotion but this film was great!  Not original in anyway but the characters were outstanding!  Gibson is huge in this and plays a total bad ass.  He plays a recovering addict, ex con who is desperate to find his estranged daughter.  Well she falls into his lap one day carrying some serious baggage and needs his help.  The lines were written perfectly for his brash character and he brings a gruff, pissed off old man to life!  My only complaint was that he cut his beard at the end.  The daughter played the part well and gave a good spark to the dark and dirty overtone.  Find this movie and watch it, especially if you are a Gibson fan.

FYI:  This film was in post production for over a year without a trailer surfacing.

****

Don't Breathe


If you are casing an old mans house to rob, who is blind by the way, 9 times out of 10 you are likely to pull it off without a problem.  Although, there is that one time where the old blind guy is a jacked, super soldier with a crazy set of fighting skills!  Then, basically you are screwed!  There were a number of thrillers that came out this summer, most highly disappointing, but this flick was pretty awesome!  The premise is 3 kids are wisely choosing homes to rob staying away from cash and selling the loot to a third party.  They get word that an old man who lives in the last house of an abandoned neighborhood has hundreds of thousands of dollars hidden from a settlement he received.  What could go wrong?  Pretty much everything.  Great suspense, good story line and very tense especially making the man blind.  I would have liked to see a different casting choice in the main character but he did play the part well.  The story takes an unexpected twist and really brings the audience back into the excited state.  Yes, there are some obvious holes in this plot but works fine for me.  I would highly recommend this in the theater, and don't forget to breathe!

FYI:  The blind man only has 13 lines in the entire movie.

****