Get On Up

Flashback, flash forward, flash sideways, flash circular.  Cut, paste, repeat.  Once you have that unnecessary formula for a movie, place each section in non chronological order and leave out the follow up.  And, cut!  You have a biopic film about one of the greatest performers, song writers and singers ever.  Confused yet?  Well I think most would agree that you should be.  It's a must that a movie be made featuring the Godfather of Soul, as he had some of the greatest songs of our time.  They fell short with this one, maybe because you can always compare to Walk the Line, and Ray, which were made using bits of the same formula but left out the placement mess and third person camera talk.  Boseman did a pretty good job of the moves and speech of James Brown, but was so raspy most times that you couldn't even understand him.  He had a hard time opening his mouth to actually get the dialogue out and came off as a huge dick!  Brown had a larger than life personality and it was caught by only a fraction throughout this 2 1/2 hour movie.  There are also so many great songs performed by this singer and they only showed very small parts of his performances that left you wanting so much more.  The story of his life is great and although I like the mixed time period writing, this was way over the top.  For instance when he finally sees his mother again after 20 years was so underwhelming it made no sense creating who he really was.  I wanted so much more from this and would rate it just a little higher than the Hendrix movie.  Not impressed, but would say its worth a watch just to learn more about the life of the Hardest Working Man In Show Business.

FYI:  Produced by Mick Jagger who Brown shrugged off in real life when they first met.

***

Mad Max-Fury Road

Pop quiz!  You find yourself trapped in a post-apocalyptic world where water is scarce, savages have taken over with the power of gasoline, gunpowder and machines. Oh, and most of the warriors are brainwashed into believing if they die in battle, they will return as an immortal covered in chrome.  What three items do you bring with you?  If you didn't say a gun, lots of bullets, and an armored car, you failed the quiz!  The best word to describe this movie is WOW!  Watching it is seriously like a roller coaster ride that is full speed for 2 hours.  There are only 2 or 3 times where you can catch your breath.  Growing up watching these movies I was expecting a lot, and got a lot!  George Miller, coming off of his last few movies (Happy Feet, and Babe) brings you into a world that is chaotic, violent, and perfectly created for this movie.  There were many elements from the other Max films brought into this one with a more personal story line.  The filming and score was absolutely perfect with a cast that nailed it.  This movie successfully accomplished, with very little dialogue, a clear character back story, reasoning, and madness that sucks you in and has you on the edge of your seat for the entire movie.  Another must see theater movie that you should run, not walk to see before it is gone.  My opinion; best movie of the year so far!

FYI:  Mel Gibson was actually Millers first choice to be the lead.  Thank God cause Tom Hardy is Awesome!

*****

Jurassic World

Hey everyone!  Did you know they made another Jurassic Park movie?  If you didn't you must be living in a Cambodian Prison Camp!  This movie made history last weekend as the highest grossing opening weekend ever!  I read a critic review before I saw it titled, "10 things wrong with Jurassic World".  One of the reasons actually said, "They didn't have an accurate depiction of what a dinosaur actually looks like."  Really, you seriously put that in print?  What the hell do you know what they actually looked like, not to mention any fan watching the movie.  Another thing they said was that it was completely unrealistic because no one would redo this theme park after what happened in the first movie.  I say, how many times in history has man decided to redo something that failed thinking he could do it better?  Probably about a billion times!  Not to mention, it is a MOVIE, about modern day Dinosaurs!  This movie was awesome!  Chris Pratt is the man and the story of this was really great.  I am so happy when Hollywood decides to resurrect a movie franchise and actually takes the time and money to create good writing and acting and not just rely on the special effects.  This movie will keep you intrigued from the very start, and gives you more of a connection with the actual dinos.  Somewhat predictable, and has some typical Tinsel Town stuff to cater to the masses.  All in all, they really did a good job with this one.  This is a must see in the theater movie, just wait for a few weeks, we stood in line for over an hour.

FYI:  Jimmy Buffett is seen in this movie grabbing two margaritas from his table when the dinos attack!

****1/2

Poltergeist

"You moved the gravestones, but you left the bodies didn't you, you son of a bitch!"  Remember that classic line from the original?  Well it wasn't in it, as a matter of fact they left most of the classic scenes and lines from the original, and as a big fan it really pissed me off!  Look Hollywood, if your going to remake a classic, you better be damn good.  You are already setting yourself up for failure by jumping into the non original remake scene, but do it right especially if your spending the money.  This movie was rushed!  There was too much focus on a backstory, with no actual backstory.  The characters were too used to the haunting too quickly.  By the time the professor got there they were all like, "oh, yeah, shit flies around on its own here".  The bad, so many major elements left out or changed:  Caroline changed to Maddie?  No Pool?  No Maggots in the meat?  Complete downplay of the clown?  No midget (Peter Dinkledge would have been perfect for this part)!  There really was no substance to this remake, but was somewhat enjoyable if you haven't seen the original.  There were some better actors this go around but disappointing.  Wait for Netflix on this one, but still give it a watch.

FYI:  Fans of this film started buying items from the actual set including the blue laundry basket.

**1/2

The Prince

If you have seen this movie on Netflix but passed over it a hundred times, you wouldn't be the only one.  I passed it up for a good two weeks before giving it a shot, and was pleasantly surprised at this hidden gem.  I like to dissect movies like this that have flown under the radar.  Lets start with the poster, two of the three actors on it are in this film for about 7 minutes each.  Which actors?  Here is a hint, they are the A listers.  Next what is a Prince?  "A male royal ruler, most commonly the son of a King or Emperor".  What does this have to do with the movie?  Not a damn thing.  You can analyze it all you want, but come on, it was a last minute decision on the writers part.  Well, with low expectations going in, it turns out that I really liked this movie!  It was underrated from the start and the build up of the main character is really good.  Jason Patrick transforms from a nerdy, boring auto mechanic, to a complete bad ass, killing machine.  His daughter and her friends are idiots, and the perfect example of how college girls act and think anymore.  This was kind of a Taken rip off, but in many ways more watchable story.  Give this one a shot, and if you have a daughter, keep her out of New Orleans.

FYI:  50 Cent makes an appearance, and this is the third film he is in with Bruce Willis.

**1/2

The Philly Kid

Always wanted to be an MMA fighter?  Well, now you can!  All you need is a wrestling background, a few weeks of training in an old gym, and you become the best of the best!  Don't worry that you haven't mastered the arts of martial arts, boxing, or the rules, those details will just take care of themselves.  Oh, and if you've been in prison for the last 10 years, that helps as well!  Another Netflix almost made for TV, B action film comes to life with the Philly Kid (the title alone should scare you away).  If your in the mood for cheesy acting, cliche after cliche, and punches that sound like a dump truck smashing sides of beef, then this is the movie for you!  Familiar story of a star wrestler in the wrong place at the wrong time who gets locked up for 10 years, only to emerge as an MMA God.  Of course he has to fight to save the life of his bestie and is getting harassed by the fuzz.  Not to mention his fights are officiated by the worst refs in the game.  The only redemption of this film are the actual fight scenes and that I was entertained for 90 minutes.  This is one of those nothing else to watch films if you like MMA, and if you want a good movie on the topic, watch Warrior.  Now go train for a week and Dana White will be on your phone in no time!

FYI:  Nearly biting your own tongue off intentionally is a sure way to get recognized in the fight world.

**1/2

The Nightmare

You know those dreams you have that seem so real it's almost like its actually happening?  Well apparently it really is happening, and demons, aliens and shadowy people are in your room terrorizing you!  Oh, you don't believe me?  Just watch "The Nightmare", its a crappy documentary, if you can call it that, about people that have a condition called Sleep Paralysis and the horrors that come along with it.  What happens is they start to fall asleep and just as they do, they become completely paralyzed but are totally conscience.  Well when that happens to the unlucky pseudo-sleepers, in walks the demons, aliens, claws, devils, shadow people to terrorize, posses, and even have sex with them.  The weird part is when they wake up, there is nothing there and everything is exactly the same????  It's called a Bad Dream you fuckin idiots!  This is a weak documentary that is scripted, fake and totally over dramatic.  It would have been awesome if they would have actually made it into a fiction horror movie but these people are convinced that there are demons out to get them when they are in this paralyzed state.  These freaks disregard any scientific explanation by saying, "the doctors just say that because they don't know".  One lady actually said an ink like substance emitted from her body because that is what the demons eat!  This is Narcissism at its finest with everyone thinking that this is all a huge conspiracy to keep them in the demons grasp.  Apparently the only saving grace is to say, "In Jesus Name" and it all goes away, for a while.  Call me a skeptic, but what a load of crap!

FYI:  Some countries believe certain vegetables are bad omens, but it doesn't mean they are demons!
*1/2