Within

Have you ever been laying in bed at night and heard the creaking sounds coming from your attic or walls?  I know you have, we all have.  Well guess what?  Its not just the pipes or the house settling or the wind.  It is something much more sinister, but don't worry, you have do anything about it anyway so prepare for total damnation!  I found this flick the other day on HBO, and really wanted it to be a hidden gem.  I think I was tired and wanted it to be good a little more than it actually was, but I still enjoyed its low quality and "B" rated feel.  First off I will say its a total rip off.  There are a number of movies like it, (Crawlspace, The Boy, Hider in the House) we have all seen them before and nothing really new here.  The director tries to make you feel like there are a number of suspects including the creepy Scoopy Doo type neighbor, ghosts, or even the schizophrenic route.  The first half was pretty good and kept you on your toes a little, then it just gets a bit cheesy.  I found myself constantly yelling at the idiots in the house making the worst decisions I have ever seen.  There were some positives, such as a super hot step mom, and an even hotter daughter but unfortunately no gratuitous nudity.  Not a bad flick, it is exactly what you expect and the end, although a bit of a surprise still pretty bland.

FYI:  One of the extras in this movie (next door squatter) died shortly after the films release.

***

Office Christmas Party

I would work at a failing company if they threw an office party like this!  Shit tons of booze, drugs, sex, violence, you know like at the Hobby Lobby corporate parties.  Unfortunately I had extreme high hopes for this one, especially with the all star cast.  It was pretty much a total dud.  The idea was great, and was open to a "Hangover" type of greatness.  Instead it was a film where I literally found myself trying to laugh.  I was constantly waiting for the big laugh payoff, or the awesome moment where things got crazy unique and fun.  Well, needless to say, it didn't happen.  I love Bateman who was underused.  TJ Miller is awesome but came off as bored.  Aniston, who is so incredibly hot, was probably the best part of the movie.  Kate McKinnon, who had all the right tools for the nerdy HR lady just kind of fizzled.  Overall, it was just a hodge podge of could be funny ideas written and executed all wrong.  I would say if you want some mindless film watching go ahead, but I would probably skip this one.

FYI:  All of the props and furniture in this movie were donated to an Atlanta furniture type goodwill.

*1/2

Here Alone

We have all had the conversation of, "what would you do when the zombie apocalypse comes?"  I know the exact spot I would go, what I would bring, and what my escape plan would be.  Well, unfortunately for this lonely woods dwelling woman, a couple of drifters come and screw it all up for her.  She had the routine, the rations, the perfect set up and was careful and smart about her existence.  Just like every zombie movie, its the humans that screw things up.  This is a great take on the whole close to being played out zombie movement.  The dead are more like the World War Z and 28 days type of zombies.  Fast, strong, and hungry for blood.  It basically starts as a virus and infects most of the population.  The story revolves around a 30's something woman who is just surviving day to day with the burden of her family being dead from the disease.  She stumbles upon some drifters and helps them along coming to a crossroads of what to do next.  Good suspense, jsut enough zombie action and a bit of a twist.  I would highly recommend this, be prepared for a slower drama, not an action packed flick but well worth the watch.

FYI:  Many of the wounds in this movie were real.

***1/2

Logan

"Old man look in my eyes, I'm a lot like you were."  That song rang through my head most of this movie, and thought it would have been fitting to have it play at some point during the 2 1/2 hour epic!  Nope, didn't have much to offer at all other than an old ass super hero trying to stay hidden from the world and drive people around as a cabbie.  Oh, thanks Marvel, for conforming to the all too familiar film set up by throwing a kid as the main actor and focal point.  That should bring them in so you can cash your corporate paycheck!!!  Just kidding, that was all complete bullshit.  This was the best superhero movie yet!  The only exception would be The Dark Knight, but this was completely awesome!  There were a lot of "didn't see that coming" moments and the story was outstanding.  I loved that it was a future world where Mutants were pretty much all in hiding or extinct.  This movie was very much catered to the more mature comic movie fan with some language and gore but all I could say after was WOW!  Basically it was a story based on new hope for the mutant generations to come with a new breed being able to stand for what is right.  I would highly, highly recommend this movie to anyone who likes action, comic book movies, and Wolverine!

FYI:  This Marvel movie does not feature a Stan Lee cameo.  ;(

*****

Kong: Skull Island

Poor misunderstood monkey.  He just wants to be left alone on the most dangerous island of all time.  You know the place, basically where nightmares come from.  Well amidst the giant acid spitting spiders, the flesh eating insects, the bone crushing lizard things that live underground there is a cute cuddly 140 ft tall gorilla.  And he hates people messing with his shit!  This is by far the best Kong movie yet!  It was awesome in every sense of the word with a really cool premise that strayed a little from the originals.  There were a lot of Easter Eggs in this film, many of which were obvious but funny.  Quite a few undertones of Apocalypse Now, Jurassic Park, and Monster Island.  John C. Riley had some awesome lines in his typical idiotic fashion that was much needed in terms of some witty smart comedy.  Jackson played the ruthless war hero well with some good lines such as "hold on to your butts!"  Brie Larson has never really done anything for me until this movie.  Super hot with lots of slow motion, windy hair scenes.  We also have a reunion of Dr. Dre and Easy E!  I have to say though, the best part of this movie was the soundtrack.  It consisted of all 70's Vietnam War songs and were placed perfectly.  Definitely go see this movie!

FYI:  John C. Riley's character was supposed to go to Michael Keaton

*****

Parasites

Ever thought about moseying on down to your cities seedy area to mess with some bums?  You know, make em fight, fight them, steal stuff from them.  Good ole American fun!  Well if you are preparing for it, make sure you watch this movie first as a survival guide, and stay out of their neighborhood!  This is about as "B" rated as it gets with all the bells and whistles.  Bad acting, no name actors, cheesy camera work and angles, and terrible editing.  With all of that (and I love cheesy B movies) this movie had something that made it really good!  The story was cool.  A group a rich USC college students find themselves in the wrong part of a bum infested area of LA.  This area happens to be run by bums, and they are angry and out for blood!  It kind of has a "Warriors" feel to it with a number of different bums chasing down the survivor into different neighborhoods all through the night.  Extremely low budget and you have to take it for what its worth but the story and soundtrack alone are worth the watch.  Now lets go fight some bums!

FYI:  The crew was actually run down by a group of homeless men at one point during filming.

***

The Edge of Seventeen

Ahhh, teenage angst.  Do you love it?  There is just something about an almost witty, somewhat smart-ass comment from the narcissistic views of a know it all teen.  If you have a teenager, especially teenage girl, sit them down and watch this with them, it is hilarious!  I watched it with my 14 year old, and even though there are a few uncomfortable moments it is awesome!  The movie is based around Nadine, a 17 year old who is a bit awkward, kind of an introvert, and has one single friend in her horrible high school life.  That same friend just so happens to hook up with Nadine's super popular, good looking brother and it all goes down hill from there.  The best part of the movie, other than the real situations and true feel of it, is the relaxed teacher with an almost dont care attitude played by Woody Harrelson.  He seriously steals the show, and locks down the chemistry he has with the other actors.  This is a great movie that will not only help your teenager see how ridiculous they are most of the time, but also as a parent help to remember how life really did suck at times when your comparison factor was extremely minimal.  Give it a shot!

FYI:  Erwin who plays Nadines somewhat interest is 10 years older than her in real life.

****