The Magnificent 7

Self proclaimed bloggers and movie reviewers unite!  We have yet another Hollywood remake on our hands and the claws are out!  Many of these so called expert reviewers and critics (present company excluded) have taken this film through the ringer.  I have read some of the worst reviews of a blockbuster since the new Star Wars!  Well I have come to bring peace to the land, and solve the arguments and make the universe right again.  First!  This movie kicked ass.  Maybe the character development was a little sloppy and rushed.  Maybe the historical inaccuracy was a bit over the top.  And just maybe, the gun fighting was a little exaggerated.  Here is the deal, the characters were bad ass.  What did you need, a love story???  The acting was spot on and compared to the original (Not 7 Samurai) it destroyed the expectations.  The gun fighting?  Well, its a western, they are always over the top and the original Mag 7, half the stars didn't even shoot!  Chris Pratt owned the screen.  He has great writers and can play the part well.  Denzel is always good but thought it was a bit of a mis-cast, not from the acting but he just didn't fit the role.  This was a great film that keeps you involved the entire time, watch it.

FYI:  You're welcome other critics.

****1/2

GOAT

It's high society at its finest!  Who wouldn't want to be part of an organization of fraternal brotherhood where in order to get in you have to go through a week of hell getting hazed to the point of physical torture and near alcohol poisoning.  Psychologically put through the ringer by a bunch of over-privileged trust fund babies with rape tendencies.  Then in the years to come, when you are the drive through window assistant manager of a Burger King you can stroll back in to the Frat House and be the laughing stock.  If you ask me its all worth it!  Best years of your life Bro!  This haunting tale is not your typical College Romp-Com, its the dark side of the hazing experience from one man's perspective after a brutal assault from some townies.  Jonas is pretty good and the story is very well told.  Some slow boring moments that I think dragged a little to long but over all great movie.  Based on the true story of Brad Land and his experience at Clemson University.  Give it a shot, and while your at it, take some shots!

FYI:  Many of the scenes shown were filmed using actual alcohol.  Boom!

***1/2

We Are Your Friends

Can a DJ save the world?  I believe the writers of this movie believe just that.  With the power of highly repetitious electronic beats, anything is possible!!!  But wait, there is more!  Just take a glance above and try to stay dry, its Efron at the helm!  Okay, so this typical Hollywood production did it again with mass marketing, popular teen heart-throb, a niche music scene, and a hidden secret title that is actually a rip off from a song title.  Well I will be honest with you, I am pretty sure I would date Efron, and I am a straight dude!  Enough with the bashing, I was actually into this throw away film.  I thought the story was intriguing and I love electronic dance music.  I am certainly not going to hipster out and say, "oh hell no, that isn't even the way DJ's spin Bra!"  It is pretty dry and empty but worth a good watch to chill out to.  Efron has come a long way and I think is pretty awesome.  I remember taking my daughter to see him as a High School Goodie in the theater long ago, but now he is pretty bad ass.

FYI:  The fourth worst depute from a film released in over 2000 theaters.  $758 average!

**1/2

31

Dear Mr. Zombie, you are one sick twisted son-of-a-bitch!  I think your warped sense of humor and gratuitous use of gore is utterly disgusting!  Your character development may work in most of your films, but the over use of these washed up, haggy, has-beens is truly appalling!  The portrayal of the filthy, raw, repugnant settings are enough to make your skin crawl and I feel like taking a scolding hot shower after ever film!  I should have recognized the red flag after listening you your music in High School, but now that my stomach is weaker, I truly understand the undertones of your film making.  In short, you are disgusting and I love everything about your movies!  Keep em coming please!

This was just written for all of those haters of Rob Zombies movies out there.  What did you expect?!?!  Of all his movies this one fell a little short.  The dialogue was kind of thrown together with no editing and I feel like they cut some crucial scenes.  Understandable since this was taken over by a new studio after the first one went bankrupt and was highly fan funded.  Otherwise it was awesome!  Great story, awesome blood and gore, fun characters and Sherri Moon is still hot as ever.  Find this and watch it if you are a fan, you will have fun throughout and love the killer clowns!

FYI:  Some fans who helped fund this movie played henchmen in the "Murderworld" setting.

***

The Neighbor

C'mon, I know you have done it.  Everyone spy's on their neighbors every now and then.  Maybe your looking for dirt because they pissed you off.  Maybe you want to see inside their house, or maybe your looking for the gratuitous tit shot???  Well let this be a warning to you all, knock it off!  This movie may just be your survival guide to having the creepy neighbor next door.  Talk about a diamond in the rough!  I fell upon this movie by sheer dumb luck never having heard of it before and was extremely impressed!  Drug runners (and young lovers) live in a small farm house out in the middle of nowhere having just one neighbor a ways down the road.  While the man is hard at work, running drugs of course, the little lady has all day in the house to spy on the creepo next door (eloquently played by Bill Engvall).  Well she stumbles upon a for your eyes only sort of shit, and you can only imagine what happens here.  This is an intense, stressful, thriller that has a great story, back story and somewhat predictable twist at the end.  I absolutely loved this movie and would highly recommend it to everyone but my wife who will be staring at her phone the entire time due to the tension.

FYI:  1 in 3 neighbors in the world has a dark secret.  Which one are you?!?!?

****1/2

Battle Royal

Well here is an oldie but goodie!  Now available to stream on Netflix, its the original kid killing movie!  Ahhh, the Japanese overacting, the highly stereotypical school-girl outfits, the super fake red blood, this film has all the makings of the low budget cult classic hit it has grown to be.  I am pretty sure every film that has kids hunting each other is a rip off of this one, (Hunger Games, Maze Runner, The Selected).  Japanese culture has implemented a "Battle Royal" law for the society of its children.  They have become completely disrespectful to the adults and once they cross the line too many times, boom!  They get shipped off to an island with sensors around their neck and forced to kill each other.  Only one can survive and the resident history teacher is at the helm!  Great acting, sort of, but makes you think of watching a live Japanese Animation feature.  Give this one a shot, disturbing when you think of the plot, but trust me, you wont even care.  Its a good time and fun to watch, not to mention you will be able to tell the movie nerds that you have seen it.

FYI:  Over 800 students auditioned for the school kid parts in this movie.

***1/2

Frank

Who would you rather go see in concert?  A group of grungy, S&M looking, horror mask wearing psycho death metal addicts in a band like Slipknot, or Frank (pictured above).  Yes, that is Frank, mask and all.  As a matter of fact he never takes it off, ever.  Here is the story of Frank:  He is a genius songwriter in a band made up of his hand picked misfits.  After meeting an aspiring young musician (with a credit card) they decide to take a retreat and record the greatest album ever made.  Well, Frank is very eccentric and the newcomer has a hard time getting over his antics and his head.  They end up getting invited to SXSW and the unstable Frank has a hard time dealing with the new recognition.  This is a sweet hidden gem on Netflix and should be watched immediately.  It is a great combination of humor, catchy music, drama and an underlining story of overcoming your own personal demons.  The fact that Fassbender plays Frank is awesome, especially since he is one of the greatest actors of our time.  There is a lot of depth to this flick and with songs that are extremely catchy and about nothing, it puts you at ease watching.  You will want to watch it again.

FYI:  Based on the iconic Frank Sidebottom (Chris Sievey)

*****