Batman vs Superman

In the making for nearly 10 years, we are finally introduced to the epic battle between two of the most iconic superheros in history.  To all of the critics out there psychoanalyzing and tearing this movie apart saying it is sloppy, worthless, lazy and terrible, Fuck You!  This movie kicked ass!  I have always loved Batman, I read many of his comics when I was a kid and Superman has always been the top of the comic universe.  Well in this movie, they fight.  They disagree on almost everything and take to the streets with a little nudge from Lex Luther.  Critics, they hated it.  They keep asking the questions of why and how?  I would like to ask them, "have you ever read any of the comics?"  There are many versions of each of these characters, some darker and in more depth than the others.  Zac Snyder took some of the best elements from their history and made it into a perfectly casted movie.  Yes, I said it, Affleck was awesome!  He also played the version of Batman who was a stone cold killer.  Superman was the version of a disappointed alien who has given everything for us asshole humans, and sure enough we don't appreciate it.  Then enter Wonder Woman!  First off she is super hot!  Second, her small part that was more of an Easter Egg for the Justice League was grandiose!  Third, she is super hot!  We get to see and hear many other teasers such as Aqua-man, and the Flash as well as the aftermath demise of Robin.  So much to spoil so I better end here.  If you have had any interest in comic book characters ever, go see this movie with an open mind and remember it is about fictional characters.  You should love it!

FYI:  Affleck ran into Christian Bale at a store and asked him what advice he can give him for playing Batman and Bale said, "make sure you can pee in the suit."

****1/2

Dope

Here you go ladies and gentleman, the Netflix hidden gem of the day!  Ever wonder how the high school geeks who live in the hood function in the normal inner city society?  Me too!  We have your step by step guide to what happens on a daily basis with the amazing movie "Dope"!  Present day, we follow three nerdy kids who are obsessed with 90's rap, punk music, science and bit coins.  They get caught up in a situation involving drugs and scandal and, well, when life gives you lemons, sell some drugs!  The characters are likable and the story takes you in a million directions only to intertwine and come out clean in the end.  The best part is it has probably one of the best soundtracks ever.  There are some over the top parts that was great comic relief and a lot of the stars who show up were great.  This is a must see movie and highly recommended.  I will definitely watch it again.

FYI:  The first film to accept Bit Coin for tickets at over 900 theaters nationwide.

****1/2

Deadpool

Bam!  Right in your face!  This movie has changed the standard for comic book films forever (I think).  First off, Ryan Reynolds was the perfect cast for this movie, weather it was him under the mask half the time or not.  If was basically Van Wilder as a super hero, and it worked, perfectly.  There was plenty of talk about it not being tame enough for kids, and a little thin on the story line, but who cares, it worked, perfectly.  I walked out of the theater thinking it might be my favorite superhero movie, right up there with Dark Knight, and Guardians of the Galaxy.  Basically, we have a dude who discovers he has all types of cancer eating his major organs so he takes a desperate offer to help his condition.  He basically gets tortured for a while and turned into a super assassin.  He isn't quite a good guy, and not really a bad guy, as a matter of fact he doesn't really care about much other than revenge, shit talking, and his girl.  The one liners are outstanding and the hidden Easter Eggs are great throughout.  I would highly recommend this movie and be prepared to laugh, a lot!

FYI:  The suit had to be altered and the muscle skin taken out due to the fact that Reynolds was so muscular, it didn't fit!

*****

August Underground

This wont be so much of a review as it will be a warning not to watch.  This is only the second time I have done this, (first one being A Serbian Film).  This is a sick twisted and disgusting movie that believe it or not is a damn trilogy!  I watched the first two out of pure curiosity and couldn't stomach another round.  Here is the paper thin plot; found footage film of three 20's something psychopaths who have a hobby of kidnapping practically anyone they want and torturing them in a disgusting smelly basement.  The reality of the footage is beyond real and gives you a gut wrenching feeling that you cant take your eyes off of.  It is a movie that you cant un-see and makes you think this shit actually happens!  They are over the top with their torture antics and I cant even begin to rate the worst.  Could be the decapitated baby in the trash can, or the necrophilia with a young girl, or maybe the scene where they make a bound victim locked in a coffin cut off his own penis.  Yep, all of these things are just the tip of the iceberg.  You can only guess how bad these vile people smell, how the hell they met each other?!?  Anyway, I have already given this movie too much of my time.  If you like human feces, vomit, lots of blood, incest, necrophilia, torture, and uneducated idiots this is the one for you!

FYI:  This movie had an estimated $300 budget.

* (only for shock value)

Krampus

Perfect movie to show your snot-nose little brats who are ungrateful, little shits bitching and moaning about everything regardless of the countless hours, dollars and effort you put into giving them the most incredible, unforgettable commercialized experience for the holidays only for them to spit right in your FACE! Whew, deep breaths.  Ahhhhh, Christmas time, the most wonderful time of the year :)  Now, back to the movie review.  This heartfelt holiday gem is about the fabled creature named, "Krampus".  He is the anti Santa who visits the house of the spoiled brats only to kill them in the most horrific ways and sending them to the depths of hell.  Sound like a good family movie?  Well, see comments above.  I liked it knowing that it was a spoof and had some great cheese on purpose.  The actors all did a great job and you can see right away why such big names signed on to play the parts.  Give this one a shot, it is a little like the Scream series in terms of goof, gore, and fun all in one.

FYI:  The story of Krampus has been around for 100's of years and just last year 3 movies and 6 TV shows mentioned him.  Weird.

****

My All American

Ugh, the overachiever.  Well all know him, we all hate him.  Oooh, look at me, I am the best at everything!  Shut up!  Watch me, I can out smart, play and think everyone!  Shut up!  Okay, jealousy may be a part of my attitude :)  The true story of a young man who literally works harder than anyone else in order to be the best.  His dad may have pushed him a little to far as he was most likely a head case in real life.  This guy was too small, to play college football but had enough heart and determination to make his a breakout star in Texas.  The story is not only a reflection of his perseverance on the field but also off when diagnosed with a rare bone cancer that ends up taking his leg.  A little too "Disney" for me and was pretty white washed but a good story.  Worth a watch if your a sports fan and like the whole divinity thing.  Aaron Eckhart is just okay, Robin Tunney is someone who was done in the 90's, and Finn Wittrock will always be "Dandy" to me.

FYI:  Finn Wittrock never actually played football before filming.  He had to attend a camp in order to learn the game!  Un-American!

***

The Forest

That bratty little sister of yours, always getting into more shenanigans!  This time she off and gets lost in a haunted forest in Japan where people go to kill themselves.  Dang it, I guess I will catch the first flight out.  The forest only spreads across three or four Asian mountain ranges, how hard can it be?!  Oh look, I found her tent on the first day, or did I?  I also brought this friendly English speaking dude I met in the bar the night before to help.  Or is he really helping me?  What is real in this place, I don't know but I am definitely staying overnight!  Sound ridiculous?  Thats because it is!  They do an okay job of building suspense and capturing your enthusiasm but when you sit back and think, its pretty stupid.  I liked the fact that the forest confuses you and builds suspense as to what is real and what is in your mind but it all goes just a little too far and becomes a little comical.  I would actually see this again for free, but not that impressed, especially after getting my hopes up after the previews.  Oh, and if you want to get a good laugh, check out the review boards of this one.  Lots of people saying it is whitewashing because they cast a white girl, and how disrespectful to those who committed suicide?  WTF?

FYI:  Apparently this damn suicide forest is real!

***