The Hurricane Heist

Where do I begin?  I literally found myself rolling my eyes and searching for something else to do countless times during this movie.  Within the first few minutes I though, wow the acting is terrible for a big budget film, what is going on.  Then I realized, the entire movie is not only horrible acting but also the following:  Incredibly bad dialogue, forced and terrible character development, bad CGI, and to top it off a really stupid and predictable twist.  The premise of this turd is a heist is planned to rob the U.S. Treasury during a hurricane, you know to be used as cover.  The ATF is there, you know, they were the ones who drove the trucks to the Treasury.  From there the battle begins!  It is a typical evil kingpin who gets the nerdy tech couple to hack, the bad ass brothers to muscle, and the inside men, to throw a loop in the situation?  Here is what I learned:  Hurricanes can reach winds of up to 600 mph in Mississippi.  Apparently you can outrun a 600 mph hurricane with a semi (trailer attached).  You can block bullets by holding your arm up in front of your face.  Meteorologists are actually cross-fit and MMA experts.  Everyone can drive like a pro race car driver.  Lastly, the National Weather Control has equipment that cant tell the difference between a hurricane and a thunderstorm.  Watch at your own risk!

FYI:  Remember the 600 MPH winds?  The highest ever recorded on earth during a hurricane is 190 mph.  Jupiter's "Great Red Spot" which is as big as 2 Earths, is a hurricane with 600 mph winds.

*

Bohemian Rhapsody

Ever heard of this band called Queen?  Apparently they had a few hits in the 70's and 80's?  Well the movie is about some flamboyant dude who thinks he is straight, then bi, then full on gay with a capital G!  His band gives him a shot before they get big and before you know it they are performing in front of thousands.  I guess its what they call rock and roll?  Okay, seriously if you haven't seen this movie yet, get to the theater now!  This was one of the greatest rock biopics ever made with incredible and outstanding acting done by all!  Rami Malik brings the amazing Freddie Mercury back to life and should win an Oscar for his performance.  The story of how Queen broke barriers with not only their music but the portrayal of a lead singers sexuality and presentation was spot on.  The back story of the music and who the band was always evolving and seemed to hit on all popular accounts, even if being long before its time.  There were a few faults in the film such as needing a little more backstory of the band itself, and the struggles to become famous but otherwise very well directed.  I left wanting more and feeling overwhelmed with emotion of how awesome everything I just saw was.  The grand finale is "Live Aid" which I remember watching as a kid and a better ending to the film couldn't have been written.

FYI:  Sacha Baron Cohen was almost the part of Freddie!

*****

Papillon

I would say 99% of the time after seeing a remake the first remark is that is isn't as good as the original.  Very few exceptions in my book and unfortunately this one also falls into that category.  Now don't get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoyed this movie and was extremely happy with the films outcome.  Outstanding performances by all actors with big shoes to fill (Steve McQueen and Dustin Hoffman), but they held their own.  Another "true story" of a French thief who is framed for murder and sent to what many may call the worst hell of a prison.  He creates an unusual friendship with the runt of the litter in order to gain his money for an escape.  There you have it, a prison break movie, we all love those, right?  I do, and they all have their own similarities with a bit of a twist to each story.  The way this film portrays the actors mind diving into madness and the atmosphere is done with excellence.  The prisoners are authentic creations of who you would think of when imagining a foreign prison.  A great story and will worth the watch.  I would suggest watching the original as well to give yourself a reference of where this all comes from.

FYI:  Papillon means Butterfly-His nickname due to the butterfly tattoo on his chest for thief's.

****

The Outlaw King

Brave WHO?  Step aside Gibson, Captn. Kirk is here as the new king with a greasy mullet to scare off the English!  Oh, you don't know this story?  Nobody does, until now so thank you Netflix!  So you have your basic Scottish outlaw group who is tired of the tyranny from the English king and his army.  So they form a much smaller band of psychopaths and one by one try to take down the English!  This "true" story takes place just after William Wallace has been killed.  Trying to maintain peace throughout the boarder lands, Robert Bruce is titles "King of Scotts" where he is sent away to piddle around on an inadequate piece of land.  Well the fiesty little band of Scotts decide to play dirty and take out each castle until the big battle with the newly appointed king.  Of course he is a weasel and brings on a huge army for the final battle.  The grand finale of a battle was outstanding!  The Battle was certainly Big Screen worthy and the blood was really cool.  Overall I really liked this movie and thought it was very well made with great acting.  There was a bit of "Made for TV" feel to it at times but definitely worth the watch.  Check it out on Netflix now!

FYI:  2 scenes were filmed in the town that Robert the Bruce lived.

***1/2

Terrifier

Not quite Pennywise, or Captain Spaulding, but a different killer clown.  You know, "Art the Clown?"  AKA, the Terrifier!  Backstory as to why I watched this low budget slasher flick; at the last horror movie convention I attended this guy had the longest line and most action of any other booths which included Jason, Robert Englund, Lance Hendrickson, Etc.  Going in knowing how cheesy it would be, I realized I had seen this clown before in another movie called "All Hallows Eve" and I loved every minute of it!  Not much to tell other than the fact this silent creepy clown terrorizes three hot chicks on Halloween (along with anyone else who he happens to see) and its typically in a manner that is about as unpleasant as you can imagine.  Its low budget, gritty, bad acted and no plot but a great horror night selection.  Wait for the cool scene where he manually saws a girl from her crotch to her head, its a really family dinner time moment!

FYI:  Thornton, who plays Art was actually a street mime before getting into acting.

***1/2

Man Vs.

Bear Grylls, you know the "so-called" wilderness survival expert.  Well look at the picture above, see a resemblance?  Good, you should since the whole movie struck me as kind a spoof of the dip shit shows that allegedly have an outdoors man on his own surviving.  This thriller is set up to be a really good flick, it includes elements that make it a real movie and not just your typical slasher in the woods type of film.  TV Personality, wilderness survivor is experiencing some serious ratings failings as well as negative feedback from his producers so he decides to go all in on a lone upper North East survival trip.  He has a few cameras and a backpack with some items but most of all he is on his own.  He begins to experience some weird stuff and finally realizes he is not alone.  Sounds kick ass right?  Well as soon as we discover who else is out there with him, the whole thing turns to cheese with really bad Power Rangers type graphics.  All in all, it was a good movie other than the fact I just couldn't get over how low budget some of the elements were.  I think they would have been better off not showing the entity (no spoilers) rather than try to pull it off.  Good Netflix late nighter if you know what your going into.

FYI:  Oops!  In one scene you can see cars driving in the background.

***

Too Big To Fail

If you still haven't become negative and suspicions about the economic crash of the early 2000's then you arent watching enough movies about it!  This hidden gem was outstanding right along with the others who follow suit such as The Big Short and Margin Call.  This one centers around the potential fall of Lehman Brothers involving back channel negotiating, political fudging, no strings attached bailouts and a lot of lip service to the public.  This gave a very in-depth understanding of just how greedy the industry can be with no repercussions.  This all star cast really shined and gave all of the 10,000 ft view characters some humility.  This is a must watch for anyone who just cant get enough of the crisis situation.

FYI:  4 Oscar nominees star in this film

****1/2

Us and Them

The world has always had "have's" and "have not's".  The real issue is how does the human psyche deal with it.  Work hard?  Invest?  Get an education?  Hell no!  You get a gun, go to some rich assholes house and tie them up to teach a lesson!  Well that's what this young man does to prove a worthless point as if a needle in a haystack will suddenly jump out and stick you in the finger.  This working class stiff along with his band of misfits have a master plan of taking over a rich dudes house and holding him and his family hostage teaching him that the rich are evil and the weak will soon rise!  The story is not unique and the plot is a bit thin but was a very enjoyable watch.  I liked the whole idea and the fact that they didn't try to make it something its not.  It was acted okay and very "next door" quality but well worth the watch.  Streaming on Netflix, give this one a shot!

FYI:  The gun used in this was filled with sand to make it feel heavier, like a real pistol.

***

How it Ends

Not another post-apocalyptic survival movie!!!  How many times can Hollywood take Mad-Max, The Road, and Blackout, throw some other actors in it and try to churn it out as new twist on the genre.  Well, I am a fan so keep em coming!  I liked this one for a few reasons but I will give you the old fashion Molina Film Review Good, Bad, and Ugly on this one!  The Good:  Cool unexplained reason for the meltdown.  Weird weather, total electronic darkness, and a fast reaction by the people to become chaotic.  I also liked the tense relationship between main actor and Father in law.  The Bad:   So many wasted opportunities for the plot line to move into great directions.  What is going on, where did they go, and who is that?  The Ugly:  Some good, and some really, really bad acting/writing.  There were times where I laughed out loud it was so forced.  Overall, I enjoyed this one, the fact that the main actor wasn't a complete bad-ass with a weapon and that he didn't understand the situations he was in made it worth while.  This is a good watch and will keep you entertained.

FYI:  Many of the military members were actual members of the Canadian Army

***1/2

Red Sparrow

What a terrible position to be in as an American Spy.  You get roped in, seduced and used with a sexy and beautiful young Russian spy forced to use her body as a weapon.  Sounds horrible to me!  Just go ahead and kill me before manipulating me into a sensual sex game with a "Sparrow"spy.  On top of all that, the class hot shot in Sparrow School is J-Law, and she isn't shy showing her skin in this flick!  I was very much not interested in this movie as I thought it was going to be just a rip off of Atomic Blonde, (which was awesome).  Little did I know it was going to be really good and surprising with the plot twists, action, gore and nudity.  I have also never really been attracted to Lawrence, but wowza!  She is super sexy in this one!  Basically she is an A List Russian Ballerina who ends up getting hurt and is reduced to the low portion of society.  She is then recruited by her slime ball Uncle to be a "Red Sparrow" spy and seduce for secrets.  Her first target, an American spy who needs a new contact for his assignment.  Next thing you know, they are shacking up!  It's not an Oscar worthy movie, and it is a bit predictable but well worth your time!

FYI:  Lawrence spent 4 months practicing ballet 3 hours a day for this role.

***1/2

Good Time

Good ole shovel face is out for blood again, but this time he ain't drinking it.  This isn't your cheesy, weirdo, fan girl vampire movie, that's for sure!  I will start off by saying I hate Pattinson, he is a creepy type of actor who never really shines for me.  He is awesome in this one as a low life dirt bag who is racing through the night to correct his terrible decisions.  The story starts out with him and his mentally challenged brother in a botched bank robbery.  They are on the run and the brother (played brilliantly by the director) gets caught and put into lock up.  Pattinson must enter the depths of a shady city in order to find him and get the cash to set him free.  There is outstanding 80's throwback music for the score, some great slow burning cinematography, and great nail biting action.  This is an extremely underrated movie with a surprisingly great plot.  Amazon Prime right now, give this one a serious look!

FYI:  Most of the actors in this film are ordinary people cast to play the specific parts.

****1/2

Antibirth

The "Just Say No" slogan was pretty good in the 80's.  Nancy Reagan had a pretty good idea for the time but we have evolved since the Cold War, and it is time to increase the intensity a bit.  This movie could very well be the answer for a dont do drugs campaign for high school kids.  It revolves around a burn out stoner who lives in a drug induced haze who happens to take partying a little to far one night.  She wakes up with no memory and something growing in her womb.  A baby you ask?  Well it may be a bit more than that, but you have to watch!  There are some serious gross out scenes and the whole thing is a bit weird but very interesting!  Natasha Lyonne is outstanding as the crude, waste of space, and Meg Tilly comes out of nowhere almost unrecognizable.  I love Sevigny, and was disappointed that she didn't show skin, but was still great.  Give this odd tale a shot on Netflix, but make sure your not eating while you watch, especially anything with cheese. :)

FYI:  With a $3.5 Million budget, this film was a total flop.

***1/2

Hereditary

How much do you actually know about your family?  I mean really know?  Especially those who are older or may have passed on.  What did they do with their lives and what direction did they take to preserve the future of their family?  Well, if your family is anything like this one, you're fucked!  This movie has been impatiently anticipated as one of the scariest movies of all time.  I would disagree but I would also say it is one of the most well made horror movies of all time.  The first 30-40 minutes is a more heartbreaking and sad film than anything.  It really makes you feel despair, and emotional but when you least expect it, it turns on you to become pure horror!  The slow burning horror scenes are extremely well done from the lighting, to the actions, to the premise and situation of each minor detail.  It chills your bones and sticks with you as the creepy almost too real relevance of terror.  This is absolutely one for the horror and suspense fan but be sure to keep your eyes open, you don't want to miss the subtle freakishness of background scares throughout.

FYI:  The son really breaks his nose on his desk during the filming.

*****

Incredibles 2

Stupid, and totally unrealistic!  Seriously, a family of animated heroes who can save the world, with a baby!?!?  Lame!  Okay, I'm kidding, I have been waiting for 14 years to see the sequel to the best  animated Disney movie of all time!  It didn't disappoint, at all!  I have always loved the voice cast here and with it beginning exactly where the last one left off was perfect.  It makes you think you didn't miss a beat in the lives of the Incredibles.  Great villain with a cool way of taking over the world.  Although I loved all the characters in this movie, Jack Jack really stole the show!  The new supers had some fun powers and their innocence was greatly appreciated.  This is another Pixar smash that will go down in the books as another one of the greatest.

FYI:  Edna Mode is voiced by director Brad Bird

*****

Hostiles

Did you hear the one about the Cowboy, the Indian and the widow who walks into a bar?  Well this aint it, but it is almost as good as the quality of that joke!  The year is 1892, this is a time period where human life of a different race really doesn't matter.  Going across the prairie lands as a white man your biggest worries are Cheyenne, Comanche, and Apache.  As a Native American your biggest threat is the civil war soldier, or the white hunter.  Now throw in a widow who just had to bury her family and you've got yourself a wild ride.  This was a great slow burn that had some amazing acting.  Each role was written specifically for the actors playing their parts and I have to say, Bale was incredible.  There is a genuine chemistry between him and the Natives he is escorting across the west and he plays the role of a seasoned and somewhat damaged soldier perfectly.  A disturbing time period that is portrayed as true to life as you would expect.  Give this one a watch, its great!

FYI:  A few actors suffered from heat stroke as the majority of the movie was filmed outside.

****1/2

Solo-A Star Wars Story

There is a small franchise you may have heard of called, "Star Wars".  If you haven't to be honest it is kind of like the nerd bible with unlimited story lines stemming from the origin of space battles.  Oh, you have heard of it?  Well this popular character finally has his own pre-story movie that the nerd universe has been waiting for since the late 70's.  It's Han Solo, one of the most beloved characters in the galaxy!  What is there to say of the story that you dont already know other than how each scenario played out.  I will sum up the good for you first; initial meet with Lando and the space poker game, meeting with Chewy, doing the Kessel run that Han has been bragging about for decades, and no Han story would be complete without a love interest.  His irresistible charm has been there since birth apparently.  Overall I really liked the movie, the Easter eggs, the way it played out giving some insight to past story lines BUT, I thought the actor playing Han fell a little short.  The flow of the movie seemed a little forced as the writing was close but missing something, and like all Star Wars movies, this one payed a little too much attention to a single event for too long (the train scene).  If you are a true fan, this movie is a must see, but if you are true fan you have already seen it so I am just talking to myself at this point!

FYI:  Chewey is played by a former Penn State University basketball player.

****1/2

Upgrade

Ahhh, the future.  Where anything is possible, including having artificial intelligence take over you body to become a bad ass street fighter.  No, this wasn't the Matrix, this was a whole new take on the futuristic computerized brain implant, and it was awesome.  In short, the story unfolds like this:  Grey, a bit of a technophobe who loves the classics and old school type possessions, becomes paralyzed due to a car accident.  He is then given an experimental implant called "Stem" to take over the functions of his body and help him become mobile again.  His thirst for revenge due to an incident that I wont spoil here gives Stem the ability to help him become an ass-kicking machine.  The movie was much better than expected with a good plot, great acting, and fun story line.  Grey, played by Logan Marshall-Green, who is a bit of the poor mans Tom Hardy, is good in everything he does.  He was a breath of fresh air in this flick and was cast perfectly.  There are a few obvious twists and some cheese but overall, great movie worth watching.  Give this one a shot!

FYI:  Somewhat hidden, you can see the puppet from Saw painted on the wall.  Same director.

****

The Void

Whaaaa??  Not sure what I just watched other than the fact Aaron Pool, who is an Aaron Paul look a like, did a stand up job in fighting a monster that looked like Pizza the Hut!  So apparently this is set in a land where cops are huge pussies, hillbillies can walk around carrying guns and shooting anything they want, and the only hospital in town is a broke down chop shop!  The creepy place is now on its haunting hour, (I think) and a bunch of hooded cult members are trying to do....something (I think)?  Enter some creepy monsters and some cheesy gore, and you have The Void!  I enjoyed it but could have done without the monsters, or at least the last one.  It was better with the cult members terrorizing the hospital.  I would suggest this movie as a "keeps your interest till the very end" type of film.  Fun acting and the blood and guts are outrageous.  Now make a plate of greasy and slimy nachos and start watchin!

FYI:  Crowd funded project.  Some serious loyal geeks!

***

Rebirth

Ahhh, the old corporate retreat.  Most of us have been to one, and make no mistake, no matter what industry you are in they are all bad.  Lot's of corporate lingo, false motivation, fake cheers, righteousness, synergies and efficiency's, ass kissing, name dropping, and all around fun killing.  Yep, those are the ones.  Well how about a different kind of retreat?  One where you are "reborn" in a sense.  Its extreme, its dangerous, its sexy, and with the amount of brainwashing, you just may make it out a changed man!  It is basically like an Amway conference on steroids.  Poor Kyle, a middle aged business man with a family who lives in as they say "A Zombie State" is tricked by his old college friend to attend the Rebirth retreat, only to find out it is not quite what it seems.  This was a pretty good Netflix original but there were some pretty obvious holes here.  First off it was a pretty direct rip off of "The Game".  The flow was a little off, it seemed very rushed at some points and way to slow in others.  I felt like there should have been another 1/2 hour of the film giving it more substance.  The ending was a bit unexpected and somewhat original but not sure if I agree with the decision.  Overall I liked it and would watch it again, but of course anything with the over the top, ever so hot, hot, hot Nicky Whelan in it, I could stare at for hours.  No matter how bad the movie is!

FYI:  Harry Hamlin has a bit part playing exactly the type of guy you think he is in real life.

***1/2

Carnage Park

Nothin better than a road trip through the desert, warm calm winds, no clouds in the sky, the sun shining down and sniper bullets ripping through your flesh!  Sounds like a nice afternoon, right?  Carnage Park isn't your average, run of the mill leisure spot.  Nope, its private property fenced in and owned by a sadistic sniper who is hell bent on sending his victims through a world of torture and fear before killing them.  Enter Scorpion Joe and his hostage.  He is a bank robber who is on the run from his last heist.  After taking a hostage he finds himself in the desert being hunted.  Is he a match for the killer?  How about his hostage, timid bystander who is played by Ashley Bell who is constantly in the wrong place at the wrong time.  This movie is stylish and cool but not short on gore and horror.  It is a great survival film that is dirty, and grimy but fun!  Good gem on Netflix, it does have its faults but the characters are outstanding and the creepy setting is excellent.  Give this one a shot, pun intended.

FYI:  The hand scene is done in a single take, and is really gross!

***1/2