A Cure for Wellness

I were a Medicare Supplement salesman, (which I am), this little well-springs club med would be a place I would definitely set up shop!  You may have to act in the order of 1. sell your soul 2. drink the Kool-Aid (water) and 3. work well with eels.  This movie was hammered by the critics and most people I spoke with had no ambition to even watch it.  Well, they were all wrong.  This was a very strong creative movie that kept you guessing the mystery behind the characters and the story.  It was creepy but in a very stylistic and modern way that had an artsy feel but not too pretentious.  You will find yourself trying to figure things out only to come to a dead end, until the end.  The story (in short with some spoilers) is this.  A young, ambitious business man is sent to this Swiss wellness center to retrieve his former CEO.  Upon arriving and realizing the place is a little off, he is ready to jump ship.  Low and behold, there is a car accident as he is leaving and winds up right back at the center unable to leave until he is "Cured".  He finds himself enthralled into the mystery of its guests, and the creepy Doctor.  There are clues throughout and a really good mesmerizing story and an awesome soundtrack!  Play this game while watching:  Each time you see water, take drinks from your glass. :)

FYI:  $40 million budget, To date gross, $8 million.  Oops!

*****

Fist Fight

Remember High School?  I know, it was a looooong time ago, but think back.  What type of battle royale would have happened if two of your teachers got into a fight after school?!  It would have been epic, of course!  I know who I would match up from my high school, some would get thrown in there just because I hated them.  Well this genius idea of a movie pairs Charlie Day and Ice Cube, which is a great duo to begin with.  Day being a weaselly little do-gooder and Cube being the hard, inner-city tough teacher end up finding themselves in a situation with the principal who is in the process of lay offs.  Low and behold, Day sells out Cube and the tension begins for the after school brawl.  This movie was actually great!  It was funny, the idea was hilarious, the characters were perfect for their roles and of course it was completely outlandish!  Its light and exactly what you think, a comedy not looking to win any awards.  Sure, it tries a little too hard at times but go in with no expectations.  Give it a shot, we watched it with our kids which wasn't the best parenting but they laughed a lot!

FYI:  Welcome back Tracy Morgan!

***1/2

The Girl With All the Gifts

Stupid humans, dont you know when zombies attack, they always win?!  You have what they want, blood, and brains, and flesh and whatever.  Unless its the Walking Dead, most modern day zombie flicks have some pretty bad ass fast moving and vicious monsters who can overtake a city in no time.  This awesome movie was a mix of I Am Legend and World War Z type monsters and they didn't disappoint!  The movie surrounds a group of "second generation" zombies who can suppress their appetite for flesh for a short time.  They can also learn and are put into classrooms in order to make them more efficient for the survival of the human race by being tested.  Essentially the compound they are being kept gets overrun and a small group goes out to try and find refuge bringing along a sole blood thirsty kid zombie.  The movie had excellent flow and was a very well written story.  The young girl who plays the zombie was outstanding and had some great acting chops.  The story wasn't happy and I wasnt quite sure why some of the events happened but was a really good fresh take on the zombie genre.  Give this movie a try, you wont be disappointed.

FYI:  Glen Close's sister is a huge zombie movie fan and was awarded a part as a zombie in the film.

****1/2

Hell House LLC

We are back with another found footage film!  You know I love em, and if your tired of this genre, give this one a shot!  So you are thinking of putting on a haunted house production?  Why not choose one of the spookiest locations possible with a history of murder and chaos surrounding the site?  Never mind the lack of research, professionalism of the crew, and money.  Who needs that shit!  Lets just scare some people!  This movie was an awesome hidden Amazon gem that had a surprisingly good take on the found footage shtick.  It had great elements that horror fans usually love such as haunted house, mysterious killer entity, scary clowns, a hot chick, and a cool ending.  There were a few portions of this film that left me a little bit bitter, such as the evil cloaks, the brush off of the main foreman, and the fact that they were sleeping in the house but otherwise this is a must see.  Don't be confused with the multiple other movies titles, Hell House, this one has LLC after it to make it much more authentic!

FYI:  Filmed in an actual haunted attraction in Pennsylvania.

****

War Machine

Well done Netflix!  Your movie making chops are right up there with the big boys!  Amidst all of the negative reviews of this movie and the audience boo's of boredom, I thought this movie rocked!  Based on the real life of  General Stanley McChrystal, this over acted, satire mimics the brash arrogance of the US Military in a squad assembled to "win the war".  Pitt plays a charismatic 4 star general who not only is a true war hero, but the best of the best of the best at what he does.  Unfortunately his entire life is a routine militant expose of standards and success.  This has completely ruined his personal life and he truly has no skills outside of the war room.  The characters in this film are eccentric and quirky but totally accurate of military personnel to the extreme.  Pitt plays the gruff old general perfectly with every nuance from his running style to his hand motions and the matter-of-fact answers given to complicated questions are hilarious!  Give this one a try and look deep into its true meaning of the human psyche and what it means to give your entire life to one thing, or just watch and laugh!

FYI:  The real General McChrystal was brought down by a Rolling Stone Magazine article.

***1/2

Moonlight

For those of you complaining about the "all white" Oscars last year, I think you drastically overlooked the fact that regardless of color, a good movie is a good movie.  Not only did Moonlight steal the show this year (literally for best picture), it was very much deserving of its award!  I finally got around to watching this last night and was so enthralled into its content that I couldn't take my eyes off of the screen.  It helps that I am overwhelmingly interested in the young, black, bullied, inner-city, confused, underdeveloped, gay man with a crackhead mother and no role model figures.  Not to be too specific or give away any spoilers but that is the story right there.  Outstanding story following the life of a bullied child and his ghetto surroundings in Miami who is confused about the obstacles he faces through life.  Only to find himself getting some sort of inner piece through some very unlikely sources.  There are three sections of this mans life that are focused on starting with his adolescence through his teenage and young adult life.  The acting was excellent, the stylistic cinematography impressive and the way the story unfolds was mesmerizing.  Definitely give this a shot if you haven't already!

FYI:  Thanks to Brad Pitt, this movie got its funding of $1.5 million to get off the ground.

*****

RAW

I am pretty sure the phrase, "tastes like chicken" has been around since the beginning of time, or the beginning of chicken anyway.  Seriously, is it about chicken that makes everything else compare to its deliciousness?  Well, red meat may just be the exception, especially when its the human kind!  This awesome foreign film is based on a young woman who was raised as a strict vegetarian and being sent off to the prestigious veterinarian school that her parents attended.  Un-prepared for the initial week of hazing and initiation she is thrust into a world of partying and pranks.  One of the disgusting things the upper class does is make the freshman eat a raw piece of rabbit kidney.  After that, this young woman starts to spiral out of control with an unquenched appetite for human flesh!  Lots of gross out scenes and some really gnarly sexual escapades but just missing a little something.  It might have been the mood I was in but just wasn't all that into it.  I liked the story and the acting but was waiting for a little more.  It was also hard for me to believe the self inflicting pain scenes without thinking, "how does that not hurt like hell!?!"  Give this one a watch unless you get queezy at the sight of blood.  Now go get yourself a rare steak!

FYI:  To prepare herself for the withdrawal scene, the lead actress watched Trainspotting.

***

Life

And here we go again, another sci-fi thriller with the most un-explored area of our universe, space!  Lets take a scenario quiz; You find a life form on Mars, bring it upon your ship and begin testing.  What are your options?  Do you, have blatant disregard for protocol and begin to get sloppy with your work?  How about ignore your chain of command and push the limits for your own personal agenda?  Maybe, you fuck with the life form until it turns on you and proves to be an organism much higher on the food chain than you are!  There was some really good and some really bad about this movie, overall I liked it and thought it was entertaining but the more I thought about it, the more I hated how they chopped up a great idea with some really good actors.  Here we have another edition of the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly!  The Good:  Really cool alien and the movements were very organic and showed lots of character.  The Bad:  Empty characters with some pretty bad writing.  The Ugly:  Definitely not the astronauts who all look like models, but the fact that they were all pretty damn stupid for being the smartest scientist in the world.  BTW, was Gyllenhall's character an MD, a fighter pilot, and a world renowned astronaut and scientist???  Nice resume!  Give this one a shot and just don't take it too seriously, its worth the watch.

FYI:  Ryan Reynolds was initially supposed to play the lead, but had scheduling conflicts.

***1/2