Captain America: Civil War

Did you hear?  There is a new Marvel Super-Hero movie out!  It's the third installment of Captain America!  You know, the homo-erotic, spandex wearing, good ole boy from the 20's.  Well with this flick, begin his love affair with none other than Tony Stark.  If you ask me any movie that doesn't include Hulk or Thor is weak.  Not to mention, Vision, what good are you???  I am going to start off by saying WTF?!?!  The Earth's mightiest hero's are fighting each other over some crusty, metal armed dick wad who just recently tried to kill them all??  My biggest complaint is how pissed I got watching this.  I mean, c'mon guys, don't fight!!  That being said, I loved this movie!  By far the best installment of the C.A. series.  Awesome fight scenes, bad ass new characters, witty remarks, Stan Lee (again), the story line could have used a little work but I was really impressed!  Now, to get down to the bones, Spiderman and Ant-Man stole the show!!!  These guys were really only in the movie for about 15 minutes but were absolutely awesome!  I was upset that Andrew Garfield wasn't cast (yes, I said it cause I like him) but the new Spidey seems really good, and a little more like the naive high school kid from the comics.  This is a must see and will likely see it again and again!

FYI:  Downey Jr./Iron Man was almost completely written out of the script due to wanting more screen time and more money.  They made the right decision!!

****1/2

Triple 9

Common questions before watching this film include, "What does triple 9 mean?"  "Why are they wearing red ninja suits on the poster?"  "Why is Casey Affleck such a better actor than Ben?"  All of your wildest questions are answered after watching this newly released flick.  So, I actually liked this movie but it had a lot of problems!  Such star power with no character development or story line.  This is a movie that after watching you think to yourself, "did they forget to write or include half of the script?"  Bad cops teaming up with criminals to rob banks in order to pay off one mans debt to a Russian mobster who happens to be the sister of his baby's momma.  You got all that right?  Throw in a rookie that seems to be the only good cop on the force, a slime ball, drug addict Woody Harrelson,  Daryll from The Walking Dead, the new Wonder Woman, and Jessie from Breaking Bad and BOOM, blockbuster, right?  Well not really.  This movie was like swiss cheese and must of had a budget of a billion dollars in order to get the star power, (it was actually $28 million).  Meh, is my final assessment of this film.  I didn't hate it but it could have been a whole lot more.  Give it a watch but dont have high expectations.

FYI:  Even more star power was supposed to be cast in this such as Chris Pine, Christoph Waltz, Shia LaBeouf, Jeff Bridges, and Michael B Jordan.

***

The Man From U.N.C.L.E.

Have you ever seen any installment from the Mission Impossible series?  How about any of the James Bond movies?  Bourne movies?  If the answer is yes, to any of the aforementioned, than you have seen Man from UNCLE.  Why would you watch it you ask?  Well the best part of this movie and what may very well put it above the rest, is the fact it was directed by Guy Richie.  He is way ahead of his time and creates style, humor, action, and a flow that is incredible.  Not unlike the Oceans movies, or Snatch, this movie has some great story telling and character development that many movies these days seem to forget about.  Cavill is really good at playing a dapper, well rounded spy and its a change from seeing him as a beefy super character.  Hammer is the real star if you ask me.  He played the part like a fiddle and was great in every way.  Throw in some hot, sexy visual eye candy along with some not-so-over the top action, and success!  I am surprised this movie didn't get as much attention as it did but take it from this review, check it out ASAP!

FYI:  Matt Damon, Daniel Craig and Tom Cruise were all considered for the lead role!  Wow, Hollywood, you really went out on a limb with those guys!

***1/2

Me and Earl and the Dying Girl

"Just another stupid indie film that insists upon itself!  Whatever kids, you don't know what life is even about yet and just die already stupid annoying girl with cancer!"  This was seriously a real review I read online when researching this film!  WTF is wrong with people!  If you don't have Will Smith, a superhero, or 50 explosions the viewer these days cant even relate and the worst part is, they are the majority of the voices.  I can just see in 40 years while watching the Oscars, "And the award for best picture goes to, Kill with Bombs, staring Justin Bieber".  The best part about that is that I will be dead, and I have been giving my kids a movie education since birth.  Anyway, on the the flick.  This movie rocked!  I loved it from start to finish, it was a perfect combo of comedy, drama, and life.  The conflicts seemed real for High School age and the premise was original and not so much of a focal point that it dwelled.  The only complaint I have is some of the scenes exhausted themselves a little and it wore out the novelty.  Acting was great but not excellent, but casting was awesome!  This is a hidden indie gem and should be watched immediately!

FYI:  This film was bought by FOX at Sundance for $12 million.  The largest buy in Sundance history!

****1/2

The Program

If an athlete is doping and runs the fastest 100m dash ever, but no one is around to see it, did it really happen???  Okay, how about this one;  Once a cancer survivor recovers, can they start training and come back within a year to win the Tour de France 7 times in a row without any chemical enhancement (AKA Steroids)?  Hell No!!!  What the Fuck!  Okay, I will admit, I loved Lance.  I thought he was an American God on the bike.  I thought with a charity and as much as he gave back to the sport he was so entrenched in, there is no way he was a cheat.  Of course, with the repeat sound bites of him saying that he has never been tested positive, bla, bla, bla, he was a lock for man of the year, right.  Okay, so he is a damn cheat, and a liar, and a fraud, and a douche bag but man, what a great story!  Enter David Walsh, the reporter that was already infamous for kicking doping athletes to the curb, sunk his teeth into Lance.  Boom!  Story uncovered.  This was an awesome movie, a little made for TV feel, but really cool.  Haters said, "why make a movie about things you already know, stupid"!  Uhhhhh, ever see "The Titanic"???  Give this one a watch, great acting, awesome cast and a story that most of us dont know all about because, lets face it, who the fuck watches the Tour, other than to see Lance cross the finish line!?!?!

FYI:  Ben Foster said he took PED's in preparation for this role.

****

Point Break

Congratulations!  You have just won multiple awards Point Break Remake!  These are gold medals in the following categories.  And the award for Worst Script, Worst Editing, Worst Acting, Worst Casting, Worst Use of a Remake, Most Pointless Movie Ever Made, Most Ridiculous Extreme Sports Segments, Worst Scene Endings, Most Uncomfortable Love Scene, and Most Meaningless Story-line goes to, (drum roll please), Point Break Remake!!!!!  I watched this movie for free and if you haven't figured out how I feel about it by the previous comments, I still paid too much!  No depth, no character development, the line jumped all around, the dialogue was crap and the whole movie was the most horrendous thing to hit the theaters in 2015.  What a waste of time!  It is sort of the same story as Point Break Original, but strays and tries to make itself "Modern" and fails completely.  This is a warning rather than a review of to stay as far away from this movie as possible.

FYI:  Who Cares!!

1/2