The Brass Teapot

Have you ever said something like, "If I had a dollar for every time I stubbed my toe...?"  How about the classic old game of, "what would you do for a million dollars?"  Now just think if those things could really come true!  Seriously, how far would you go?  Well in this hidden Netflix gem, a down on their luck 20's something married couple fall upon a magical teapot that gives you money every time you get hurt.  Of course this couple does what any red blooded american would do, they bring the pain!  Their goal is to get to a million bucks all the while, becoming a little obsessed.  Meanwhile those who find out about it try to steal the pot and obsession sets in.  Things start to change and they discover the payout for pain isn't as hearty as it used to be so they have to get creative and find new ways to earn the cash.  With a twist of the origin of the pot this movie came out to be a great new take on the Monkeys Paw story.  Good cast with some fun cameos and decent acting.  I would have liked to see more of a backstory on the pot and the money making but all in all very enjoyable film.  

FYI:  This $900k film made a whopping $4k opening weekend.  On two screens.

***1/2

Contracted / Contracted Phase 2

A 2 movie bonus post!  Contracted 1 & 2 gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "one night stand."  I am pretty sure they should show these at every Jr. High Sex Education course as the best deterrent for unprotected sex.  I decided to combine these movies because they are just plain nasty!  The basic premise is a sexually transmitted disease which begins to turn you into piece of rotting flesh complete with worms and maggots festering inside of you, constant excretion of blood from every orifice, and ending in the desire to eat flesh.  Well to make things worse, it mutates and becomes contagious just from the touch.  It seems some asshole who thinks the human race is a virus that needs to be eliminated is deliberately spreading this disease.  When I said these movies are nasty, that was an understatement.  The flesh eating bacteria and body mutations are so disgusting you almost dry heave while watching.  Most of the acting is just okay, but when they are in pain or getting sick, they nailed the part where the audience is supposed to cringe.  Overall I liked both movies, it was a different take on the whole "Zombie" type of morphing.  If you plan on watching these, make sure you are eating potato soup and chips during the sick scenes, you will love it!

FYI:  During pre production there was an actual virus going around on set.  3 people were seriously hospitalized.

***1/2

Vacation 2015

Family vacations just aren't what they used to be.  Now its all more expensive, not as much fun as you thought, a constant search for the i-Pad charger, sibling fights, and never enough booze!  Well head to the movies because the old family truckster is at it again, only this time it's Rusty at the wheel!  Before going into this movie you have to ask yourself, did you like the original, or are you obsessed with the original?  I only say this due to the enormous amount of terrible reviews I have read and completely disagree.  I really loved the original and think this fits the bill.  First off the casting is great!  Ed Helms plays a great adult son of Clark W. Griswald and even gives a freak out performance like the original.  There were some great typical 'Vacation" type scenarios throughout the movie that made it a raunchy, fun comedy.  I mean really, it wasn't the Departed.  Applegate, Hemsworth, Mann, Day, Livingston, Reedus, Key, all perfect cameos.  Once again the Griswald's take a trip across country to beloved, Wally World so Helms can take his family on the vacation of their/his dreams.  Along the way they visit family and friends and have the same great misadventures.  I was extremely disappointed in Chevy's part, he really has lost his good ole acting chops and gained about 100 lbs.  I would highly recommend and think it was exactly what I expected.  There is even a cameo of the original family truckster!

FYI:  This is the 6 actor to play Rusty Giswald

***1/2

Rudderless

The next time you are in a hipster, college area with an open mic and stage for amateurs, keep in mind you may be witnessing the beginning of greatness.  So sit back with your woody finish micro brew served in a bird feeder and check out this masterpiece.  If you cant tell already I loved this movie.  Most of the people I have talked to really didn't like it at all, but I think they are whiny narrow minded idiots!  I cant say too much about this story as I don't want to give away some of the crucial plot pieces but here is the bulk.  A successful businessman father is quickly falling down a downward spiral after the death of his college age son.  He soon finds out about his sons hidden talent as a singer songwriter and takes the stage so the world may hear his songs.  He teams up with a couple of young rockers to give it some spark and they end up winning over the crowd night after night.  There are many plot twists and portions of the movie that will take you by surprise and over all I would say it is one of my favorites of the year.  The music was excellent, the acting superb, and the story was original and intoxicating.  There were a few unanswered questions that I would like to know more about such as the music store?  The girlfriend?  The boat?  Anyway, watch the movie and you will understand.  Great flick!

FYI:  Based in Oklahoma City

*****

Need for Speed

If you are a huge fan of cars doing the impossible, this is a movie for you!  How fast does your car go?  I dont even get out of bed for less than 200 mph.  How much is your car worth?  I drive a $2 million Mustang through off road mountain terrain.  How do you avoid cops when speeding?  I tear through the city streets at 100 mph making every car in my path crash into one another.  Well, Aaron Paul, you know the breakout star of Breaking Bad, has all of these driving tactics in the bag.  What I really don't understand is why they changed the name from Fast and Furious, to Need for Speed and didn't even cast Vin Diesel???  That's what this movie was, a highly unrealistic, unimaginable, Fast and Furious rip off with cheesy lines, terrible acting, worthless story line and plot, and a complete and total cliche from start to finish.  I get it, it was a movie, but wow, you cant even watch something like this and not say at one point, "what the hell am I watching?"  Yet, I was strangely sucked in, thinking there would be some twist.  There wasn't.  I am pretty sure they marketed this movie for the 14-18 year old gear heads who love car porn.  I would not recommend this unless you are confined to a hospital bed with no other options.  Total garbage.

FYI:  Not to make this movie even stupider, but it is based on a video game.

*

Inside Llewyn Davis

Folk singers in the 60's must have been the original Hipsters, and they haven't changed a bit!  The numbers are all there, sorry hipsters but you are pigeon holed.  Layers of good will clothing, check.  Taking two things that don't belong together and owning it, check.  Thinking your original by being unoriginal, check.  Let me introduce you to Llewyn Davis, the quintessential member of this cast.  Another deep and interesting Coen brothers film that has great dark humor and uncomfortable situations.  Davis is an extremely talented folk singer who has the makings to be famous, he just cant catch a break.  As a matter of fact he is a day late to the whole music scene and his genre has pretty much passed him by.  His struggles are to find that greatness without actually admitting that he is even looking for anything.  All the while everyone he knows is either telling him how terrible he is or praising him for their own amusement.  Timberlake has a great part as a goofball singer on the verge of a new musical form breakthrough.  I liked this as it was in true Coen form.  The viewer finds himself feeling bad for the main actor up until you are tired of his lazy bullshit and want to smack him upside the head.  Well worth the watch but dont expect any answers or conclusions, you have to figure it out for your self.

FYI:  Conor Oberst auditioned for the part of Llewyn Davis.  Whew, that was a close one!

***1/2

Honeymoon

Ah the magic of new, young love fresh after a marriage and off to the honeymoon!  The look in the eyes, the constant touching, the non annoying, nagging wife!  Especially when you toss a mysterious walk in the woods that results in a torn nightie and a brain dead wife.  Sounds ideal right?  Well when the crazy bitch starts to forget things like an end stage Alzheimer's patient and begins to spew dark mucus out of her vage, its time to call the doc.  This creepy weird tale is a Netflix gem that gives you just enough behind the curtain to promote suspense, eeriness, and mystery.  There are a lot of things that keep you guessing like who is actually going crazy, what will happen, how is this happening and can we please leave now?  Pretty good acting from an under budget film with a good story that was somewhat original.  The most intriguing part is how the shell of a person reacts to certain situations and can manipulate the ones you love.  A little slow at first but give this one a chance, it is really good.

FYI:  During the filming of this movie the Dolly Grip ate a live bull snake on a dare.

***1/2

Self/less

In a world, where you can pay a mere $250 million to transform your crusty, sick, old body into an all new model.  That looks like Ryan Reynolds!!  Lets face it, if you had the means and would keep your consciousness, tell me Dwayne Johnson, Jason Statham, Ryan Reynolds wouldn't be on the list.  Pretty good sci-fi flick that was a little underrated.  Kingsley plays a billionaire real-estate guru who is riddled with cancer.  He enters into a secret medical contract to transfer his mind to a young mans body that was apparently made in a lab.  He has some serious fun, and then realizes that shit aint all what it seems.  There are some really cool characters in this movie and although not much suspense due to the predictability, it was very enjoyable.  I had a hard time taking the moral route with this one thinking, "damn, I just spent millions and look like a super model.  I am going to continue to rock out for a long time!"  In his younger body, he finds there is some mystery to his now flesh and feels he just has to figure it out.  Bring on the goons!  The company doesn't want him messing things up so they go after him.  Cool clothes, cars, and party scenes but not the dialogue I expect from Reynolds and wish there were more with his new life.  Good backstory and  some good action, it just fell a tad bit short.  Enjoyable and a recommendation for all.

FYI:  The old mans ugly ass apartment in the beginning is an actual pad owned by Donald Trump.  Go figure.

***1/2

Z for Zachariah

Its the end of the world as we know it!  It's hard for me to watch a post apocalyptic movie with "last man of earth" scenarios because I constantly think of Phil Miller in "The Last Man on Earth".  It always turns into a joke and I keep repeating "Carol" in my head!  In this film there isn't much to say as it is slow, quiet, and seems to creep.  Contrary to the critics bad reviews, I thought it was very well done.  There is a lot of tension and good stories that keep you interested but not a lot of payoff unless you actually use your brain.  There are a lot of unanswered questions witch I think rubbed people the wrong way as most viewers these days want it thrown in your face with no mystery.  So here we have the uber hot Margot Robbie playing a southern hick who is struggling to survive in a world contaminated with radiation.  Her farm is the only thing in existence that has survived and is a safe haven.  A stranger shows up and they form a close bond only to be shaken up by another stranger more "her type".  This creates tension as emotions run hot.  I have many theories on what happened to one character and what is known and not known but I wont spoil it for you.  This is a thinker that makes you wonder what you would really do in this type of situation and if you would be smart enough to survive.  I would give it a shot, again I really liked it but you may have to be in the mood.  Now excuse me while I go stockpile food and water.

FYI:  After the film wrap party Pine was arrested for DUI and lost his license for 6 months.

***1/2