The Ones Below

I once had a guy say to me that I had it easy because of my, "perfect life, perfect wife, perfect kids, perfect house!"  I just laughed and though, mission accomplished, he has no idea what a shit show my life really is!  Well take that same mentality and throw it into a creep neighbor couple.  We all know the type, a little off and hard not to feel uncomfortable around.  Well they live in the flat below this naive couple who happens to have the wrong neighbors.  The creeps below play the part of the happy couple, but there are some deep seeded entities there.  The dude is played by none other than, "The Governor!"  This is a slow moving tale that creeps up on you but keeps you on the edge of your seat waiting to see what will happen next.  It is really a hidden gem on Netflix and is highly underrated.  There are some predictable parts and you will likely call the ending but worth a watch.  If you happen to be pregnant, you should definitely watch this movie, then have sweet dreams!

FYI:  While filming this movie, they used 7 different cats for a total screen time of 38 seconds.

***1/2

Hell or High Water

Who out there is a "Pine Nut"?  I know I am!  Well in this movie he plays a down on his luck, country bumpkin looser on the fast track to nowhere, or is he?  Here is the skinny.  Two poor boys from West Texas go on a bank robbing spree.  They need the money to save their family ranch, which is the twist at the end.  Hot on their trail is Old Man Bridges, the soon to be retired TX Marshall.  There is action, crime, mystery, chase, and blood all to end up with a near perfect ending.  This movie flew under the radar and had a pretty disastrous opening weekend but the masses have smartened up on this one.  With a true "No Country For Old Men" feel to it, this film stayed strong with its direction and had an outstanding story.  Sure there were a few things that are somewhat cliche, but I couldn't keep my eyes off the screen.  The acting was amazing and I will be surprised if there are no awards won.  Ben Foster joins the ranks (if he hadn't already) of the elite as he controlled the scenes along with Chris Pine.  This is a sure winner movie and I suggest you run and see it fast!

FYI:  Although the movie is based in West Texas, hardly any of it was shot there.  Take that stupid Texas!

*****

War Dogs

Which Jonah Hill do you like better?  Obese, weird shaped, 1/2 man 1/2 fat Jonah or slimmed down still weird body shaped much healthier Jonah?  Well you get the slob in this one, but damn-it, he is so damn good it doesn't even matter!  Then throw in Miles Teller for a perfect on screen duo.  These two look nothing like the actual characters they are playing, but who gives a shit its Hollywood.  You know, the same place that cast The Duke as Genghis Khan!  Anyway, if you wanted to make some quick cash in the 90's (like $300 million) just jump on line and under bid for a security arms dealing contract.  That's what these two real life dip shits did, and got super loaded off of dealing weapons to military contractors.  How this movie got a single bad review or negative feedback is beyond me.  This movie kicks ass!  Yes, there is some narration that is a little unnecessary but it truly takes you through an adventure of these guys that you don't want to miss.  The comedy and action are great, Tellers girlfriend in the movie is super hot, and Hill steals the show.  One of the best characters is Bradly Cooper, when he shows up and commands the screen.  This is a definite watch and I cant believe I didn't see it sooner.

FYI:  Jesse Eisenberg and Shia LaBeouf were originally considered for the main parts.

****1/2

Bleed For This

Who the hell wants to watch another boxing movie?  Well, I do of course!  IMO, they cant make enough boxing and football movies, especially ones like this that are based on true stories.  This movie was so interesting that after dragging my wife to the theater, she fell asleep within 20 minutes.  Pretty sure she had to much wine at dinner.  I enjoyed this movie as Miles Teller is awesome and got jacked for the role, but there were so many things wrong with this flick!  First off it is definitely not in the top 5 greatest boxing movies of all time, (Raging Bull, The Fighter, Rocky, Cinderella Man, Southpaw).  I think the direction and low budget of only $6 Million was a major factor.  The acting was excellent but they forgot to develop the characters so that you would even care about them.  The story itself was inspiring and so awesome that it was almost unbelievable but it stretched with unnecessary drama.  They should have taken a page out of Stallone's play book and added some higher than life training sequences.  Overall this was a good movie but probably one for the couch with a beer.  Oh, I forgot to mention what the movie was about.  Boxer, Vinny Pazienza, you've probably never heard of him, gets into a car accident and breaks his neck, and his boxing career, but not his spirit!  He trains to come back from a life altering injury to go on and become two separate weight class champions.  No biggie.

FYI:  Teller was trained by famous boxing trainer who has worked with Sugar Ray and Holyfield.

***1/2

Ouija: Origin of Evil

Ever wonder if Ouija Boards actually work?  Well they don't.  Want to know how I know that?  Because every time I have ever played one the curser doesn't move, unless I am the one moving it!  Well here is a movie that I didn't expect to be good but it actually wasn't half bad.  The story and premise of course is old news and you can basically predict the outcome but it was very enjoyable.  Based in the 60s, the story revolves around a family who recently lost their husband/father.  The mom played by Elizabeth Reaser (who I cant stand) is a fake medium who is convinced she is helping people by reading their palms and connecting with their dead loved ones.  She decides to add a Ouija Board to the act and then the shit hits the fan.  The youngest daughter becomes possessed and wreaks havoc over the family.  Some cool jump scares and creepy little girl helps to bring the worn out story to life.  I watched it for free so any outcome would have been fine, but I wouldn't suggest paying to see this unless you are a teenager.  Now burn that damn gateway to hell already!

FYI:  Most of the creepiest scenes were cut from the final product.  WTH?

***

The Magnificent 7

Self proclaimed bloggers and movie reviewers unite!  We have yet another Hollywood remake on our hands and the claws are out!  Many of these so called expert reviewers and critics (present company excluded) have taken this film through the ringer.  I have read some of the worst reviews of a blockbuster since the new Star Wars!  Well I have come to bring peace to the land, and solve the arguments and make the universe right again.  First!  This movie kicked ass.  Maybe the character development was a little sloppy and rushed.  Maybe the historical inaccuracy was a bit over the top.  And just maybe, the gun fighting was a little exaggerated.  Here is the deal, the characters were bad ass.  What did you need, a love story???  The acting was spot on and compared to the original (Not 7 Samurai) it destroyed the expectations.  The gun fighting?  Well, its a western, they are always over the top and the original Mag 7, half the stars didn't even shoot!  Chris Pratt owned the screen.  He has great writers and can play the part well.  Denzel is always good but thought it was a bit of a mis-cast, not from the acting but he just didn't fit the role.  This was a great film that keeps you involved the entire time, watch it.

FYI:  You're welcome other critics.

****1/2

GOAT

It's high society at its finest!  Who wouldn't want to be part of an organization of fraternal brotherhood where in order to get in you have to go through a week of hell getting hazed to the point of physical torture and near alcohol poisoning.  Psychologically put through the ringer by a bunch of over-privileged trust fund babies with rape tendencies.  Then in the years to come, when you are the drive through window assistant manager of a Burger King you can stroll back in to the Frat House and be the laughing stock.  If you ask me its all worth it!  Best years of your life Bro!  This haunting tale is not your typical College Romp-Com, its the dark side of the hazing experience from one man's perspective after a brutal assault from some townies.  Jonas is pretty good and the story is very well told.  Some slow boring moments that I think dragged a little to long but over all great movie.  Based on the true story of Brad Land and his experience at Clemson University.  Give it a shot, and while your at it, take some shots!

FYI:  Many of the scenes shown were filmed using actual alcohol.  Boom!

***1/2