Don't Hang Up

Remember this one?  RING, RING, "Hello" is your refrigerator running?  "Yes"  then you better go catch it!  HAHAHAHA!  No?  Oh, well my childhood was pretty dull and when it came to entertaining ourselves before smart phones and caller ID, we just did the old "Prank Call" routine.  In this twisted tale, a couple of teenagers decide to pull back a few too many cold ones and make some prank calls of their own, with a bit of a twist.  These cocky bastards want to terrorize the victim pretending to be the cops, or a thief in the house or whatever until they screw with the wrong recipient!  Their night of fun quickly turns into a nightmare and they become the prey.  The movie was somewhat predictable and a bit cheesy, such as unrealistic reactions to situations that would probably never work out.  I did like the suspense and the ending reveal but it wasn't quite enough to set it up for a 4 star review.  It was a free streaming flick so worth the watch but proceed with caution, it might not keep you on the edge of your seat like you want.

FYI:  Do people still prank call???

***

Stronger

Wat, ah yah one of those southie smaht kids?  That was just a short representation of what I liked best about this movie, the total entrenched Boston accents.  I love to hear and imitate that accent but when I hear women talk like that I cringe because its wicked annoying!  Well, here is the true story of Jeff Bauman played by one of our favorites, good ole Jake.  You remember Bauman right?  The ordinary, no goals, drunk dipshit who was at the wrong place at the wrong time (which was a miracle he even got out of bed that day to be honest).  Okay, jokes aside he was one of the unfortunate spectators of the Boston Marathon who was injured due to the bombing.  He lost both of this legs and the story is of his struggles, menacing family, and ultimately his comeback.  It is a very "Hollywood-ized" movie but the story is pretty incredible.  For one, if I had his family and their loud, rude, no filter demeanor I would have wished to loose my head instead of legs!  Too soon?  Sorry.  The greatest part of the story is the scene where he finally meets the mysterious cowboy-hat wearing man who basically saved his life.  Talk about a tear-jerker!  Definitely give this one a shot!

FYI:  Many of the real doctors played themselves in the unscripted hospital scenes.

****

I Tonya

Did you hear the one about the Olympic figure skating scandal involving a few of the top ranked female skaters in the world?  You know, where the husband hires a couple of thugs to bash the knee caps of the champ?  Oh, don't remember that huh?  You may be too young to enjoy this one then but if you want an awesome depiction of some bizarre history in sports this is it!  Lets start with the acting, phenomenal!  We all know these actors can in fact act by their resume but Robbie kills the Harding attitude and poor me demeanor.  Unfortunately she is so much hotter than the real Tonya it was a bit distracting.  Then you have Janney who dominated the screen.  She was evil, selfish, white trash, and so damn real that she crushed this role.  If she doesn't win for best supporting something is definitely wrong with the voting (newsflash).  The scene cutting and breaking the 4th wall was very direct and original which really brought the movie together.  There are quite a few ice skating scenes where you think, wow, did Robbie actually learn how to skate for this?  The CGI was very well done and made it look extremely real.  It was a bit like Goodfellas met Ice Skating and really succeeded.  I would watch this movie again and put it up there as Outstanding!

FYI:  Janney actually was a trained ice skater until an accident to her leg forced her out.

*****

The Open House

Trying to sell your home?  Well I suggest holding an Open House, especially when the place contains a basement full creepy stone tunnel areas.  Actually, it would make for a perfect wine cellar in this flick!  First off I enjoyed this little throw away, it was more than I expected and less than it should have been.  It really went through the check list of what to do for a creepy, suspense thriller.  Here is the list they used if you want to make one yourself:  First, start with a tragedy in the family that sends them out of their comfort zone.  Next, throw in a creepy, small town with out of touch residents.  Now, make everyone a little too suspicious, including the family members.  Then, have unexplained things happen in the house that should freak you out, and do nothing about it.  Finally, throw in a killer, or maybe its not a killer?!?  You can fine tune the rest with audibles such as bitter teenager, token black guy, un-used room, etc.  Take it for what it is, and there will be no awards here, just good old fashion mindless suspense.  Its another Netflix original and easy to watch with decent acting, its worth it.

FYI:  Beware, you would probably do everything different in this situation!

***

Evil Things

First thought?  Does this look like another low budget horror flick with the same boring screams and slashes?  At first glance you may think so but it aint!  I had the please to meet the Writer/Director of this in Phoenix last weekend, Dominic Perez.  I had the first instincts of, "sure you did a couple of movies?"  Well, as you know about me, I jumped at the chance to check out a found footage, low budget, horror flick, after all they are my favorite!  I went in thinking, bad acting, bad lighting, boring and drawn out story, and cheesy music.  I was so wrong!  I loved this flick!  So keep in mind the small budget and not having the backing of a Hollywood juggernaut, this played out very well!  5 fiends travel to upstate NY to have a long weekend at a family members secluded home in the woods.  Along the way they are put on edge by an idiot driver during the snow storm.  Once at the home some odd events start to unfold only to put them in harms way.  There were some very unique elements of this film such as a plot that takes you in a few different directions (paranormal, home invasion, Blair Witch???)  The acting was quite good as it seemed very real to me, not "acted".  The actors were very "next door" looking which made the film that much more believable.  Give this one a shot on Amazon Prime.  It may not be fore everyone, but after getting into it at night you may get a bit of the creeps.

FYI:  3 months to write, 7 days to shoot, and 1 month to edit.

***1/2

The Girl on the Train

Ever been so wasted that you cant remember what you did last night?  How about for the last few years?  Oh, c'mon, you know the times when you fill an entire sports bottle with vodka and take it down while hangin on the commuter train.  Really?  Not you?  Uhhhhh, well you might not be able to relate to this movie as much as I did then.  Did I spoil the plot for you?  Here it is:  Raggedy drunk rides the commuter train to NY everyday spying on the homes that are built a little too close to the tracks if you ask me.  Well, she just so happens to see every detail of an important incident in these peoples lives.  Enough to get tangled in their web of lies and deceit.  Oh, another factor.  One of them is her ex-husband with his new wife and child.  Coincidence?  I THINK NOT!  This is a great mystery/thriller along the lines of all the hottest "scorn-wife" books that are taking the world by storm right now.  In the spirit of "Gone Girl", "The Wife Between Us", and "The Girl in the Window" it doesn't disappoint.  Blunt plays a real piece of crap extremely well, and Bennett is an almost doppelganger to Jennifer Lawrence.  They only accent the other great cast members who really give a great performance.  This is a great sit back and enjoy thriller that you wont want to miss.

FYI:  Blunt wore bloodshot contacts and cheek prosthetics for her alcoholic character.

***1/2

Jungle

"It will be fun", they said.  "Lets have an adventure", they said.  "Cancel your plane tickets", they said.  Now look!  I am trapped in the God Damn Amazon Jungle!!!  This is a true hidden gem, and absolutely one of the most underrated movies of last year.  I barely heard anything about it, and the critics weren't all that generous with the film but I thought is was amazing!  I am not a huge Radcliffe fan other than this and "Horns".  He usually is just a grown up version of Harry Potter, but he really shines in this picture having some seriously terrifying moments of being isolated in the jungle.  He plays Yossi Ghinsberg, author of the book in which this story is based.   The story is three friends back-packing in South America find a shady guide who will take them on a true adventure off the beaten path and in to the actual jungle, no tourist crap.  They are reluctant at first and succumb as the sales pitch is just to overwhelming.  They experience first hand the depths and dangers of the jungle only to be separated and having to find for themselves.  There is some great cinematography, unbelievable situations, and gruesome truths as to what would happen after weeks in the trenches.  The best part is, this is a true story!  Definitely give this a shot, it is worth it and will make you think twice about traveling off the beaten path (in the jungle).

FYI:   It would have been impossible for McLean to condense all of Ghinsberg's trials into one movie, which unfortunately left out:

• When Ghinsberg woke up covered in leeches.
• When Ghinsberg slipped down a slope and impaled his rectum on a broken stick.
• When Ghinsberg woke up to find a swarm of termites eating patches of his skin where he'd urinated on himself.

*****