True Story

Amidst the close ups of a pale, clammy, tired James Franco, comes an ever so slow paced thriller about a man who allegedly kills his entire family.  When you put two narcissistic assholes in a room together to fill each other full of lies, you get greatness!  Well not necessarily in this film.  First we have Jonah Hill, Americas Sweetheart and a champion at extreme weight change.  He plays a disgraced writer who is canned for lying on a public image story.  His robotic and distant acting fell short in this role as he takes on the job of writing Franco's characters story.  Then we have Franco, he is so uncomfortable to watch at points that it makes you feel weird.  I guess that means he is doing the acting thing well.  He plays the accused killer of his wife and three children.  This is all based on true events, but then again unfortunately its not all that uncommon to hear about.  The majority of the story is set to have Franco tell Hill the story of what happened with exclusivity.  The only problem is they are both compulsive liars and the cat and mouse suspense is thrown way out of proportion.  Then throw in the weird, estranged relationship with Hill and his wife that brings the comfort level down another notch.  I guess I would say I was intrigued the entire film but felt let down with the events.  I wanted so much more and would have probably cast someone other than Hill.  I feel like this was good, but could have been great!  Worth a watch just get ready to make all of your own conclusions. I will say one thing, the original movie poster is one of the coolest I have ever seen.

FYI:  The character Hill plays still actually visits Franco's character once a month.

***1/2

Strangerland

The apple sure didn't fall far from the tree in this Mother / Daughter scenario.  Its kind of like that old saying we all know, "If it looks like a slut, and acts like a slut, its probably a slut."  Oh, you don't know that saying?  Well here is a story set in the outback about a family so crammed full of bad secrets that I don't know how they get out of bed in the morning.  Starting off with the kids, a couple of real manipulators, and the promiscuous daughter is destined to make her father pull his hair out.  The son kind of just goes along with the daughters dirty deeds, but still has the lying part down perfectly.  Now the parents, they painfully trench through life in every aspect whether its their marriage, work, raising kids, sex, its all there.  Anyway, kids go missing one night, we don't know if they are kidnapped or they ran away.  We don't know if they are dead or alive.  We also don't know if any of the towns people are involved.  This movie take the slow, steady approach through the lives of this family, pressing the emotional side of events to the brink.  There is plenty of symbolism throughout the film with evil tendencies such as the winding snake (watch for it).  All in all, I would say I  liked this movie but there were some huge holes.  I wanted a lot more closure and questions answered but enjoyed the deep seeded emotions it brought from the view of a parent loosing a child.  I wanted the dad to get drunk.  I wanted Kidman to stop being so over dramatic and I wanted some explanation of the old lady, the last town, and the end.  Give it a shot and stay far away from Australia.

FYI:  In Australia apparently you can say anything you want to the cops!

***

The Signal

Hey look, it's Morpheus in a roll as a creepy Area 51 Scientist.  He walks the same, talks the same and looks the same (only fatter).  Oh, wait, that's just the shitty acting of Laurence Fishburn.  So here is the question of the day:  What do you get when you put together 3 nerds from MIT?  One who is a complete dork genius, one who is a cripple/model genius, and one who is a boarder-line hipster chick genius.  You send them on a wild goose chase to Nevada seeking revenge on "Nomad" the hacker who nailed the MIT server.  Well what do you know, they all get abducted by aliens, of course, again.  This movie was taken right out of an H.G. Wells playbook with theories and strange occurrences that scream Sci fi.  There were some really cool twists and formularies in this movie that made it work.  I was disappointed at fist thinking this was just another Area 51 rip off of some kids ending up in an underground lab, but it wasn't at all.  You keep thinking either the characters are going crazy or that something just isn't right.  With its slow steady pace, you need to keep yourself involved until the very end.  There were some flaws, like every movie.  How did the kids figure out the escape codes?  Why were they playing mind games with them for so long?  What happened to the girl?  This movie took some different ideas from a few other movies and put them together in a way that connected the alien encounter world.  It was pretty good, most likely a straight to video production but a good watch all the less, Unless your not a sci fi fan, then stay away!

FYI:  Pay attention to the "crane game" at the beginning.  There is a lot of hinting symbolism there.

**1/2

Dark Places

Boo Hoo!  Poor me.  My poor, white trash family was killed by my brother when I was a little girl and all I can do is cry about it!  Typical Kansas!  A poverty stricken farm family with a drunk, part time Dad, and a Son who is into drugs and devil worship.  Who says the Midwest isn't exciting?  Other than the Royals, this is the worst thing to happen to Kansas City since BBQ sauce.  Surprised you haven't heard of this one yet?  Well that's probably because it played in like 3 theaters and shot straight to the On Demand circuit.  Like Gone Girl, this film has the dubbed over narration voice of a calm, gentle woman telling the tale of her life.  As a child her Mother and two sisters were killed by what appears to be her teenage brother.  She narrowly escapes from her bedroom window and we forward 28 years later where she is trying to find the truth of what really happened.  She teams up with a group of weirdo true crime fanatics who are desperately trying to prove the innocence of her brother.  With a touch of "made for TV" quality feel, this movie was really good.  It was your suspense, who-dun-it type of crime drama that has you moving in a different direction with your prediction commonly throughout the movie.  The acting was really good and made you feel terrible for this poor, impressionable family.  Theron probably wouldn't have been my first casting choice (apparently Amy Adams was unavailable), but did well regardless.  There were some holes, such as the age of the daughter of the convicted.  He was in prison for 28 years and she comes out looking 17, 20 max!  What?  They spent a little too much time on the gap fillers and should have told a little more of the crime solving story.  All in all it was definitely a movie worth watching.  Now quit crying and grow up!

FYI:  This movie was put on hold so Gone Girl could get the attention with no competition.

****

The Cobbler

Oy Vey!  The old Sand Man has done it again!  I mean really, can this guy ever do anything wrong when it comes to the magic of movies?  Just look back at his greatest hits such as, "Jack and Jill", "Punch Drunk Love", and "Little Nicky"!  Boy, if you ask me it doesn't get any better than these slap stick comedies of our generation.  WTF?  Sandler, although very likable and great if your mindset is from 6 to 13 years old, has made some real crap over the years.  The best part, he has made millions off of said crap, and someone like me, a big critic of his, continues to watch his stuff repeatedly!  What the hell is wrong with us?  If you haven't figured out this movie just by looking at the cover ill break it down for you.  Schlep shoe cobbler living in the burrows of NYC finds he has a magic sewing machine in the basement.  When he uses it on his customers shoes and puts them on, he turns into that person.  Great idea, actually not that bad of a movie, and with his usual entourage of actors involved, its laughable.  What more is there to say about these type of movies, my 7 and 12 year old loved it, I was intrigued (after 4 vodka's), and was entertained from start to finish.  One of the things I like best about Sandler, is he said he doesn't even read the critics reviews, only counts his money from the film.  Bravo!  I just hope this hits his desk and he allows me to write the commentary for all of his movie posters.  Give this one a shot, its not to bad, not to mention you can escape into the story thinking of how great it would be to have that machine!

FYI:  This is Sandler and Buscemi's 10th film together.

***

The Gunman

Don't ever mess with another man's woman!  Unless you're a jacked Sean Penn!  Plus, who says that you cant play an action star after 50?  Apparently all of the internet trolls who demolished this film.  I just want to remind all of them, (as if anyone of them would read this), of Stallone, Schwarzenegger, Nesson, Statham, okay, not quite 50 yet.  Seriously, as soon as you see Penn, you will be like, Whoa, he is ripped!  This movie was a mix of Spy Game, Blood Diamond, and the Bourne movies, and it really kicked ass!  There were some forced scenarios such as the love interest, and the reason he was set up in the first place, but good acting and great action!  Basically, as we have seen many times before, a shooter on a job to re direct a political agenda is set up by one of his team.  Now years later he is being hunted by assassins with financial interest.  Of course, his old lady gets thrown into the mix, and in the end....just kidding, I wont spoil it for you.  Good movie that was taken very seriously and the cast all fit the part very well.  After I watched it I thought, "how long would it take to learn how to fight like that and how many more weights would I have to lift?"  The answer, probably forever!  Give this one a shot, you will definitely like it if your into action movies.

FYI:  Javier Bardem was apparently paid $5million for this, and he is in it for about 13 minutes!  He did play a pretty good drunk guy though.

****

Sex Ed

What do you do when your an out of work teacher, 26 years old, chubby with a baby face and still a virgin?  You take on an after school program teaching sex ed!  Who better to run the show than Haley Joel Osment, an awkward, chubby, has been with a tiny face.  He just looks the part of a geeky mathlete.  There are some good and bad from this Netflix pick, and I was actually pleasantly surprised.  HJO is a little hard to watch as he is so clumsy and not a very good actor.  The kids are pretty funny and the main girl is really hot (Lorensa Izzo)!  What held the movie together comedy wise was the black bartender, the school placement guy, and the roommate.  Its an easy movie to watch with a typical but interesting story line.  Most of it seemed like a straight to video movie that was made by some friends who have watched just about every other post teen movie about sex, or lack there of.  It reminded me a little of the not so smart, or witty School of Rock.  I would give this flick a shot, if anything just to see the kid who saw dead people fumble his way through it.

FYI:  Lorensa Izzo who plays the hot chick is Eli Roth's wife and in many of his horror movie.

***